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Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19886) - you deserved it (2405)
On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20232) - you deserved it (2407)
On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was going through Facebook photos of a pep rally in the hopes that I'd be in at least one of them. I was in one alright. Pulling out a wedgie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12731) - you deserved it (3564)
On 10/01/2012 at 8:50am - misc - by awks - United States (Virginia)
Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16633) - you deserved it (1745)
On 10/01/2012 at 7:35am - health - by screw life (woman) - United States
Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11142) - you deserved it (10021)
On 10/01/2012 at 3:18am - health - by halitosis - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21381) - you deserved it (3305)
On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19718) - you deserved it (3397)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am beyond terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16720) - you deserved it (1171)
On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, we had movers come in to take all of our stuff as the final step to our move to the States. We have our flight scheduled for tomorrow evening. Thing is, they accidentally took my carry-on bag without my knowledge. In that carry-on there was a little something called a passport. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16827) - you deserved it (1906)
On 09/29/2012 at 3:39am - misc - by bluefrisky - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I tried to bleach my upper lip hair. I now have a bright red mustache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10955) - you deserved it (9715)
On 09/29/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by mustachioed (woman) - United States
Today, I fell asleep in class. One minute I'm listening to a lecture, and twenty-five minutes later, I'm waking up screaming in agony in front of everyone after biting my tongue in my sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10589) - you deserved it (6776)
On 09/28/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24474) - you deserved it (4519)
On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17425) - you deserved it (1075)
On 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by getajob (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I found out why my teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently my son convinced her that toothpaste has tons of calories. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16844) - you deserved it (1538)
On 09/28/2012 at 10:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14634) - you deserved it (2448)
On 09/28/2012 at 2:09am - love - by unhappy wifey (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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