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memphis201

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memphis201

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3135
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 50 posted

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memphis201's page activity

Visits<b>Civilian</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 9:20am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 7:46pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:49am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:29am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:23pm<b>Ian_from_0070</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 10:46am<b>vanna88</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:18am<b>niccc7373</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 10:34pm<b>DedicatedNova</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 12:22am<b>dvojplisen</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 8:51pm<b>umakemesic</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 11:26am<b>artiststatement</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 10:35pm<b>Borngemini77</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 7:29am<b>amanda1472</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 8:08pm<b>srbuckley322</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 9:44pm<b>sdunbar06</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 11:24pm<b>ThePaul007</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 1:29am<b>ndndnsns</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 11:36am

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memphis201's favorite FMLs

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79678) - you deserved it (4092)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22517) - you deserved it (66119)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

#20561241
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (3095)

On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you deserved it (59972)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36226) - you deserved it (3717)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56157) - you deserved it (4520) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31478) - you deserved it (4373)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

#20493004
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52739) - you deserved it (3419)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11849) - you deserved it (54690)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30184) - you deserved it (4928)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41961) - you deserved it (4283)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31588) - you deserved it (3239)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31532) - you deserved it (8909)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41845) - you deserved it (5909)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81957) - you deserved it (25210)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)



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