melons

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melons

88Fucked!

melonsmelons
  • Town/Country : Brest, France
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2679
  • Number of comments : 166
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 15 posted

About melons :

melons's page activity

Visits<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 3:15am<b>TMWhisp</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 9:42pm<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 8:14pm<b>hilamonster06</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 7:15pm<b>delichick</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 5:33pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 10:55pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 1:41pm<b>3drm</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 10:22pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:58pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 10:33am<b>asiansapphire</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 11:07pm<b>6969ay</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 4:40pm<b>sheramaree</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 10:34pm<b>Sora_McKain</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:40am<b>CallMeACanadian</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 5:40pm<b>I_own_a_dog</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 12:30pm<b>MozillaHostile</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 3:25am<b>PuckYouToTheFace</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 12:00am

Fucked!<b>asiansapphire</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 5:07am<b>I_own_a_dog</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 6:30pm<b>Bunnyluver</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 6:58am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 7:11am<b>thebighurt</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 3:22am<b>warrior2</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:27am<b>lahutchins</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 2:01am<b>love_electra</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 4:34am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 12:22am<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:16am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 6:02am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 4:12pm<b>Kevin_Kestel</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 9:53pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 4:06am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 7:22pm<b>alicecooperfan</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:57am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 3:19pm<b>Psychotique</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:02am

melons's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of melons's badges

melons's favorite FMLs

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

by me / 01/02/2016 at 3:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids

Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 12:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I had to come up with a new rule for my library's patrons: If you, your child, or your dog has thrown up on our books, we DON'T WANT THEM BACK. FML

by apaterra / 11/07/2015 at 9:14am / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm lying awake at 2 in the morning listening to the police helicopter circle my house yet again. I recently moved near quiet woodland to escape the traffic noise that disturbed my sleep. Quiet woodland where apparently the local criminals play midnight hide-and-seek with the police. FML

Today, I'm lying awake at 2 in the morning listening to the police helicopter circle my house yet again. I recently moved near quiet woodland to escape the traffic noise that disturbed my sleep. Quiet woodland where apparently the local criminals play midnight hide-and-seek with the police. FML

Today, a girl with a picture of One Direction as her desktop asked if I wanted to partner with her on a 70% law assignment. Two hours after saying no, I found out that she's a legal genius with a guaranteed job in the field and a near perfect GPA. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2015 at 2:18am / Work

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

by Marika / 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

by anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend heard a great quote about not letting anyone drag her down. She took it to mean, "break up with your boyfriend." FML

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

by whymomwhy / 07/11/2015 at 1:20pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised that my boyfriend gets a boner every time I cry. FML

Today, after coming home from an AFL match in Melbourne at about 11pm, I saw a woman asleep on the train as we neared the end of the line. Being a nice person, I went to wake her, to which she started screaming and trying to punch me. FML

by anon / 07/11/2015 at 8:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML

by annoyedgf / 07/11/2015 at 8:44am / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog brought me a a dead rabbit. It so happened to be the rabbit a group of neighborhood kids were looking for after they lost it yesterday. I just had to hide a body for my dog. FML