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melikeulongtime

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melikeulongtime
  • Town/Country : France
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 September 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 12324
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About melikeulongtime : I believe in Peace, Bitch!

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melikeulongtime's favorite FMLs

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML

#1864532
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54280) - you deserved it (2593)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by TheJoker (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125999) - you deserved it (11792)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90298) - you deserved it (19961)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

#1656841
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (147214) - you deserved it (8458)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:22am - money - by Fitz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34990) - you deserved it (87238)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

#798927
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17010) - you deserved it (137680)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

#797984
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14468) - you deserved it (162768)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was fixing my makeup in the back room of the office when my boss walked in. He looked kind of annoyed so I jokingly said "Don't you want your secretary to look good?" He said, "If I did I wouldn't have hired you." FML

#797554
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53682) - you deserved it (11477)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

#786333
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11069) - you deserved it (183160)

On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11548) - you deserved it (168079)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (118400)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

#448904
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28057) - you deserved it (129977)

On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

#400298
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41292) - you deserved it (228877)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

#233372
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60604) - you deserved it (15313)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by astroloser (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)



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