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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 September 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13434
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About melikeulongtime : I believe in Peace, Bitch!

melikeulongtime's page activity

Visits<b>vaxc</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 3:14pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:14pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:50am<b>Mad_Or_Nah</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:19pm<b>zoegirl_455</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 12:56pm<b>82_08stateofmind</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 12:50am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 12:40am<b>DetroitDakota</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 2:43pm<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 12:57am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 7:54pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 7:40am<b>wardie</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 7:09am<b>creatingApast</b> - the 01/02/2012 at 7:24pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:19pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:36am<b>buzz18</b> - the 09/01/2010 at 7:33pm<b>prettypink786</b> - the 08/23/2010 at 2:33am<b>emo_devon</b> - the 06/21/2010 at 1:21am

melikeulongtime's FML badges


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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

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See all of melikeulongtime's badges

melikeulongtime's favorite FMLs

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML

by TheJoker / 05/12/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

by Oblivious / 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm / Kuwait / Love

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

by Familyskank / 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

by Fitz / 05/05/2009 at 8:22am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

by ohshittttttt / 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

by ashleyevans / 04/04/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fixing my makeup in the back room of the office when my boss walked in. He looked kind of annoyed so I jokingly said "Don't you want your secretary to look good?" He said, "If I did I wouldn't have hired you." FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 10:03am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

by C0olgirl / 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

by emkaycutie / 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

by douchetard / 03/26/2009 at 3:37am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML

by birthdayfun / 03/23/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

by Melaknee / 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

by thiswouldhappen. / 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

by astroloser / 03/07/2009 at 11:10am / Philippines (Rizal) / Miscellaneous