melikeulongtime

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melikeulongtime

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 September 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13490
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About melikeulongtime : I believe in Peace, Bitch!

melikeulongtime's page activity

Visits<b>vaxc</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 3:14pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:14pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:50am<b>Mad_Or_Nah</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:19pm<b>zoegirl_455</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 12:56pm<b>82_08stateofmind</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 12:50am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 12:40am<b>DetroitDakota</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 2:43pm<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 12:57am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 7:54pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 7:40am<b>wardie</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 7:09am<b>creatingApast</b> - the 01/02/2012 at 7:24pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:19pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:36am<b>buzz18</b> - the 09/01/2010 at 7:33pm<b>prettypink786</b> - the 08/23/2010 at 2:33am<b>emo_devon</b> - the 06/21/2010 at 1:21am

melikeulongtime's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of melikeulongtime's badges

melikeulongtime's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML

by holly / 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

by untitledentity / 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

by ineedalifekay / 05/24/2009 at 2:43am / Canada (British Columbia) / Holidays

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

by Tootsy_Roll_Pop / 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over my ex-fiancé by flirting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks for your note, but your card was declined." FML

by Mel / 05/23/2009 at 2:43am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

by honeymoondisaster / 05/23/2009 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML

by pa / 05/21/2009 at 9:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

by tomandjerry / 05/21/2009 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

by lm / 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 2:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids who is allergic to peanuts went into anaphylactic shock. I ran and grabbed the boys eppe pen. I was holding it backwards so the injection went into my hand, causing me to pass out and both of us to be rushed to hospital. FML

by MC / 05/14/2009 at 10:11am / Canada (Ontario) / Work