About melikeulongtime : I believe in Peace, Bitch!
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77138) - you deserved it (4863)
On 06/05/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25561) - you deserved it (58888)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55912) - you deserved it (14131)
On 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41093) - you deserved it (19401)
On 06/02/2009 at 4:42am - misc - by holliefall (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24629) - you deserved it (48834)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49377) - you deserved it (24646)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Bawo (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63056) - you deserved it (10108)
On 05/31/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by fmeplease (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42760) - you deserved it (3705)
On 05/30/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by mraow123 (man) - United States
Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57509) - you deserved it (4412)
On 05/28/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51549) - you deserved it (5769)
On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML
I agree, your life sucks (42423) - you deserved it (1912)
On 05/27/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Brook363 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57249) - you deserved it (5717)
On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I was at a party, and I sat down on a chair. While conversing with friends, I shifted places on the chair, and broke it. Embarrassed, I then stood up and change chairs. After moving to the next chair, I broke that one too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46648) - you deserved it (15174)
On 05/25/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by alsayslegit (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64203) - you deserved it (5532)
On 05/24/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33859) - you deserved it (110011)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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