About melikeulongtime : I believe in Peace, Bitch!
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28138) - you deserved it (2055)
On 11/24/2010 at 2:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had a job interview. The moment I walked into the room, the interviewer said "Ok, I will interview you, but there is no way I'm hiring you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20789) - you deserved it (2711)
On 09/07/2010 at 7:27pm - work - by Jobless - Canada (Ontario)
Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13241) - you deserved it (23313)
On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25909) - you deserved it (5346)
On 08/03/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by fatty - United States (New York)
Today, my father asked me to never contact him again. The reason? His "new" family doesn't know I exist and explaining that he has a 28 year old daughter to his wife and his other children would be "awkward". I have siblings that I will never meet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35358) - you deserved it (1588)
On 01/17/2010 at 9:41am - misc - by forgottendaughter (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13793) - you deserved it (4338)
On 01/09/2010 at 8:25am - intimacy - by ohdeargodthatswrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40460) - you deserved it (3591)
On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45355) - you deserved it (6400)
On 09/07/2009 at 9:32am - love - by GasAttack (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11422) - you deserved it (31145)
On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17711) - you deserved it (29402)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (60703) - you deserved it (6911)
On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39466) - you deserved it (6078)
On 08/07/2009 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42387) - you deserved it (6311)
On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32632) - you deserved it (2121)
On 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by mvp (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32632) - you deserved it (2121)
On 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by mvp (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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