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melijoonam

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melijoonam

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  • Number of visits : 740
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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melijoonam's page activity

Visits<b>lcsun69</b> - the 08/10/2010 at 9:03am

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melijoonam's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

#13612697
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10835) - you deserved it (30139)

On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was woken by the news that my car had been found, but was completely destroyed due to a fire. I didn't even know my car was missing. FML

#13498140
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26690) - you deserved it (2516)

On 10/18/2010 at 11:52am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

#13419509
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6930) - you deserved it (38978)

On 10/12/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45323) - you deserved it (8161)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I woke up in a field 3 miles from where I'd passed out drunk. This wouldn't have been too bad if I didn't have to walk home through town without my pants. FML

#13417824
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7983) - you deserved it (34821)

On 10/12/2010 at 6:59am - misc - by kronin - United States

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

#13413623
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34327) - you deserved it (2649)

On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML

#13338032
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10758) - you deserved it (51235)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:37am - love - by crucets (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking to work through a bad part of town. A man yelled something at me, but knowing what part of town I was in, I ignored him and kept walking. Two seconds later I got hit by a car. Turns out, he was trying to warn me about the car coming right towards me. FML

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

#13321339
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9358) - you deserved it (54274)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70014) - you deserved it (7880)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40293) - you deserved it (9444)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

#13273725
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40608) - you deserved it (4492)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44901) - you deserved it (4850)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I passed out at a party after having a few too many, as one does. I woke up with swastikas and penises drawn on my face with permanent marker. I now have to go home, using public transport, to my prudish, Jewish dad who thought I was at my friend's house for a sleepover with no alcohol. FML

Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML

#13241865
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40338) - you deserved it (2878)

On 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)



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