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melhawkey

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melhawkey

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 July 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 569
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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melhawkey's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex-boyfriend called to tell me that he had always made a point to eat some form of meat before making out with me. He'd known I was a vegetarian since the day we met. FML

#17338419
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28221) - you deserved it (8209)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:13am - love - by HaHa Not Funny (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

#16945006
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44387) - you deserved it (4650)

On 07/02/2011 at 2:44am - intimacy - by beardedlady - United States (Arkansas)

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41732) - you deserved it (3754)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I dislocated my collarbone while trying remove my bra without taking off my shirt. FML

#16825145
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17212) - you deserved it (31971)

On 06/23/2011 at 11:01pm - health - by Ali (New York) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML

#16717127
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34652) - you deserved it (10336)

On 06/17/2011 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Willow - United States

Today, I was bored. Some people would've called up friends to hang out. Not me. I had the sudden urge to make an entire Excel Spreadsheet on how much I've spent on iTunes, month-by-month. I'm not sure what's worse, that I got really into it, or that I've spent nearly $800.00 on iTunes. FML

#16554560
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14562) - you deserved it (28191)

On 06/07/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Mik (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32647) - you deserved it (22939)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States

Today, I was watching TV and started freaking out thinking I forgot to tell my boyfriend happy anniversary. I wrote him a text and after it sent, I realized the date is mine and my ex's anniversary date. FML

#15766023
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10211) - you deserved it (50795)

On 04/13/2011 at 2:15am - love - by Zebracat - United States

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107933) - you deserved it (7603)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML

#15284565
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42514) - you deserved it (5622)

On 03/12/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by vlcardenx3 (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

#15227856
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39913) - you deserved it (3886)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML

#15151790
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (3118)

On 02/28/2011 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML

#14456852
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29684) - you deserved it (8584)

On 01/03/2011 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

#14326662
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34863) - you deserved it (6917)

On 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by snoozerlooser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, for the first time, a good looking guy was in my yoga class. Today also marked the first time I farted during yoga class. FML

#14151880
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28757) - you deserved it (5002)

On 12/10/2010 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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