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melhawkey's favorite FMLs
by talkingtoaretard / 01/25/2012 at 12:00am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by atleese / 12/31/2011 at 10:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Yo mom / 12/27/2011 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
by stinky / 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Work
by anonymous / 12/08/2011 at 5:37am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 1:20am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Cantgetno / 09/20/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 12:38am / Canada (Quebec) / Health
Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML
by SoupCanoe / 08/29/2011 at 4:33am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health
by Emily / 08/21/2011 at 12:54am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Wife / 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…