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melhawkey

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melhawkey

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 July 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 527
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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melhawkey's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

#19786918
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28216) - you deserved it (5474)

On 06/14/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Sir Vom-a-lot (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

#19786786
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24110) - you deserved it (2168)

On 06/14/2012 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my date made me pay him for picking me up, and taking me back home. FML

#19779965
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (3214)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:42am - money - by bad date - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML

#19778699
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24537) - you deserved it (1948)

On 06/12/2012 at 8:24pm - love - by Az (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40813) - you deserved it (3869)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML

#19776561
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31743) - you deserved it (2333)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm - money - by Sarah - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML

#19678875
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5246) - you deserved it (33641)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by stupidity (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

#19673871
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19843) - you deserved it (2163)

On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26443) - you deserved it (3824)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

#19484491
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24227) - you deserved it (2686)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

#19484468
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19606) - you deserved it (21764)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by phoneless - Jordan

Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML

#19369431
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20077) - you deserved it (1764)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by a - United States

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

#19348110
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29210) - you deserved it (3502)

On 03/25/2012 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by user210 (woman) - United States

Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML

#19326437
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20220) - you deserved it (9496)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:21pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26052) - you deserved it (12701)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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