This member hasn't filled in their description.
melhawkey's FML badges
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
melhawkey's favorite FMLs
by Sir Vom-a-lot / 06/14/2012 at 12:28pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love
Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 11:49am / United States / Intimacy
by bad date / 06/13/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Nebraska) / Money
Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML
by Az / 06/12/2012 at 8:24pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Sarah / 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML
by stupidity / 05/25/2012 at 3:30pm / Switzerland (Geneve) / Miscellaneous
by XxEmoWolfiexX / 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by phoneless / 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm / Jordan / Miscellaneous
by a / 03/29/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Miscellaneous
by user210 / 03/25/2012 at 11:05pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML
by Hannah / 03/22/2012 at 1:21pm / Ireland (Wexford) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
by anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 1:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…