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melhawkey

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melhawkey
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 July 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 439
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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melhawkey's favorite FMLs

Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML

#19855807
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16006) - you deserved it (1586)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm - work - by NoMagicMike (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

#19850668
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17593) - you deserved it (8323)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Heather (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

#19844489
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16532) - you deserved it (1769)

On 06/25/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He decided he would be a gentleman and do this to me at work, over text, during a rush of unsympathetic customers, the day before our anniversary. FML

#19843298
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27832) - you deserved it (2088)

On 06/25/2012 at 3:00am - love - by waaah (woman) - Australia

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20010) - you deserved it (5500)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20488) - you deserved it (14151)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40430) - you deserved it (3683)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

#19806668
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21736) - you deserved it (2196)

On 06/18/2012 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

#19805199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16707) - you deserved it (2517)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at work when a co-worker decided it would be funny to email me from my boss's computer to tell me I had been laid off. It wasn't funny when I was fired for real after "skipping work without giving notice." FML

#19805072
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25336) - you deserved it (1777)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:39am - work - by Adam Jensen - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML

#19803721
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26702) - you deserved it (4779)

On 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by turnedoff (woman) - United States

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

#19797334
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42756) - you deserved it (2007)

On 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister called me and asked if my boyfriend of 3 years had proposed to me yet. And now the surprise is ruined. FML

#19796347
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25418) - you deserved it (1885)

On 06/16/2012 at 9:57am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35071) - you deserved it (3815)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML

#19791305
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7750) - you deserved it (24700)

On 06/15/2012 at 7:27am - health - by latino14 - United States (Maryland)



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