Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (yesterday at 5:46am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 741
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About melbournearsenal : Law student ~ 19 years old ~ Melbourne, Australia

melbournearsenal's page activity

Visits<b>agostina_mc</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Braydonn29</b> - yesterday at 4:56am<b>QueenBii</b> - yesterday at 11:15pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - yesterday at 9:56pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - yesterday at 6:49pm<b>rshweky</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:17am<b>Lustig_Junge</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:41am<b>sandradeex54</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:23am<b>vintageart1994</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 11:25pm<b>datkenna</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:35pm<b>crazypeach</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:44pm<b>Doubledimp</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:39pm<b>MrSarary</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 11:49am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:44am<b>coyotefox</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:28am<b>S_Soapy</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:07am<b>UberMom</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:48am<b>rhiley</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:24am

Fucked!<b>aha_awkward_</b> - yesterday at 12:49am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:44pm<b>UberMom</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:48am<b>rhiley</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:24am<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 7:15am<b>sabby7</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:01am<b>Doubledimp</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 4:38am<b>NellieeNell</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:07am<b>soccer555</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 1:48am<b>SamSwebb</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 11:54pm<b>nullroute</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:15pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:00pm<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:13pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:39pm<b>Nai_Wiley</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:38pm<b>DamnedSpitfire</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:51pm<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:58pm<b>ihelaina</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:18pm

melbournearsenal's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of melbournearsenal's badges

melbournearsenal's favorite FMLs

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML


I agree, your life sucks (41411) - you deserved it (4138)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64851) - you deserved it (3812) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/11/2010 at 3:40am - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML


I agree, your life sucks (52043) - you deserved it (4330)

On 09/16/2010 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

Today, it was my co-worker's birthday but she told me not to mention it. Feeling bad for her, I went out to buy her a card, a present, and even a small cake. It turns out that there was actually a party during our lunch break, and I was the only one in our office not invited. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38983) - you deserved it (3416)

On 06/05/2010 at 6:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (11306) - you deserved it (38780)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:58am - misc - by Rach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34410) - you deserved it (6265)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:42am - misc - by Absent - France

Today, my friend accidentally left her facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42744) - you deserved it (8305)

On 11/29/2009 at 1:31am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30747) - you deserved it (4208)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Embarassedd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33631) - you deserved it (2955)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML


I agree, your life sucks (44862) - you deserved it (3558)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13289) - you deserved it (54424)

On 09/17/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by nV1ous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I called the company with whom I had a job interview last week, which I thought went great, but hadn't heard back from. One of the interviewers claimed that I tried to grope her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34332) - you deserved it (2928)

On 09/12/2009 at 2:32am - work - by badjob - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36766) - you deserved it (12177)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:09pm - misc - by M.L. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said "Here, you're repaid." FML


I agree, your life sucks (34615) - you deserved it (43403)

On 08/30/2009 at 8:19am - love - by regected (man) - United States (California)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: