About melbournearsenal : Law student ~ 19 years old ~ Melbourne, Australia
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melbournearsenal's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
by Embarrassed Swimmer / 12/11/2011 at 2:23am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Joe / 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I went to court to file a small claim and found myself at the end of a huge line. The moment I got to the front of the line, the fire alarm went off and we all had to leave the building. The moment I got outside, the alarm stopped and everybody rushed back in. I'm at the back of the line. FML
by Dante178 / 12/08/2011 at 3:41pm / United States (California) / Money
by BrokeandDesperate / 12/06/2011 at 2:03am / United States (New York) / Money
Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
by perenoel / 12/03/2011 at 11:24am / France / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
by sometingwong / 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Tyler / 11/19/2011 at 3:05am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML
by kdeeeceee / 11/09/2011 at 12:59am / United States / Love
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/25/2011 at 1:58am / United States / Transportation
by duckthehack / 01/28/2011 at 9:25am / Poland (Wielkopolskie) / Kids
Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
- Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was… Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me… Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three…