Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

melbournearsenal

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

melbournearsenal

51Fucked!

melbournearsenalmelbournearsenal
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 763
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About melbournearsenal : Law student ~ 19 years old ~ Melbourne, Australia

melbournearsenal's page activity

Visits<b>914smv</b> - 11 hours ago<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 8:55pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 6:23pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 1:27pm<b>am1717</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:50am<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:11am<b>Braydonn29</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 4:56am<b>QueenBii</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 11:15pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:56pm<b>rshweky</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:17am<b>Lustig_Junge</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:41am<b>sandradeex54</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:23am<b>vintageart1994</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 11:25pm<b>datkenna</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:35pm<b>crazypeach</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:44pm<b>Doubledimp</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:39pm<b>MrSarary</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 11:49am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:44am

Fucked!<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:49am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:44pm<b>UberMom</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:48am<b>rhiley</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:24am<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 7:15am<b>sabby7</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:01am<b>Doubledimp</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 4:38am<b>NellieeNell</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:07am<b>soccer555</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 1:48am<b>SamSwebb</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 11:54pm<b>nullroute</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:15pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:00pm<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:13pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:39pm<b>Nai_Wiley</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:38pm<b>DamnedSpitfire</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:51pm<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:58pm<b>ihelaina</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:18pm

melbournearsenal's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of melbournearsenal's badges

melbournearsenal's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41111) - you deserved it (13484)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

#20091945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36147) - you deserved it (2679)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

#20083352
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28881) - you deserved it (28532)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36900) - you deserved it (11392)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27098) - you deserved it (2350)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the whole family came over to celebrate my 18th birthday. My grandfather bought me a giant mathematics book. Apparently, he didn't want my 16 year old sister to be "jealous", so he got her the new iPad. FML

#20027507
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34452) - you deserved it (1951)

On 08/18/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

#20025968
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27320) - you deserved it (2912)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Sarah - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50203) - you deserved it (3302)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38719) - you deserved it (3372)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

#19959612
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29021) - you deserved it (3329)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23021) - you deserved it (4227)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, I had my end of year physics exam. I wasn't sure about some stuff, so I hid my notes and textbook in the bathroom. Halfway through, I got up, went to the bathroom, and as soon as I picked up the book, forgot what I was looking for. I can't even cheat right. FML

#19879559
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7287) - you deserved it (51208)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42560) - you deserved it (4352) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, it was my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises inside the door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML

#19604267
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32665) - you deserved it (2153)

On 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML

#19601147
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27371) - you deserved it (10833)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:44am - misc - by reddd - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: