Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

melbournearsenal

Online | Search for a member

melbournearsenal

51Fucked!

melbournearsenalmelbournearsenal
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 745
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About melbournearsenal : Law student ~ 19 years old ~ Melbourne, Australia

melbournearsenal's page activity

Visits<b>ciaraash</b> - 9 hours ago<b>aha_awkward_</b> - 14 hours ago<b>am1717</b> - 16 hours ago<b>agostina_mc</b> - yesterday at 12:11am<b>Braydonn29</b> - yesterday at 4:56am<b>QueenBii</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 11:15pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:56pm<b>rshweky</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:17am<b>Lustig_Junge</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:41am<b>sandradeex54</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:23am<b>vintageart1994</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 11:25pm<b>datkenna</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:35pm<b>crazypeach</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:44pm<b>Doubledimp</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:39pm<b>MrSarary</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 11:49am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:44am<b>coyotefox</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:28am<b>S_Soapy</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:07am

Fucked!<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:49am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:44pm<b>UberMom</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:48am<b>rhiley</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:24am<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 7:15am<b>sabby7</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:01am<b>Doubledimp</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 4:38am<b>NellieeNell</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:07am<b>soccer555</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 1:48am<b>SamSwebb</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 11:54pm<b>nullroute</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:15pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:00pm<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:13pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:39pm<b>Nai_Wiley</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:38pm<b>DamnedSpitfire</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:51pm<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:58pm<b>ihelaina</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:18pm

melbournearsenal's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of melbournearsenal's badges

melbournearsenal's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

#21522183
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22479) - you deserved it (2208)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm - work - by zachhewett - United States (Alabama)

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

#21520041
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24492) - you deserved it (2721)

On 01/27/2016 at 11:35am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, some guy I don't know walked up to me and told me that he's determined to sleep with my girlfriend, then walked away while giving me the finger. I've never seen him before in my life. FML

#21504604
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21873) - you deserved it (1579)

On 12/16/2015 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by MystoganFT - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my neighbor pointed to me and said to his best friend, "This motherfucker still lives with his mama. That's why he can't get no pussy." I'm thirty. My neighbor is eleven, and correct. FML

#21465314
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27445) - you deserved it (7430)

On 09/06/2015 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21791) - you deserved it (39687)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

#21304109
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35249) - you deserved it (3423)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28804) - you deserved it (37905)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53224) - you deserved it (5115)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out the record label I was talking to was actually just my friends who have way too much time on their hands. FML

#21204665
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43467) - you deserved it (5493)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:24am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

#21192500
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44139) - you deserved it (8805)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46933) - you deserved it (6697)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55682) - you deserved it (4866)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53128) - you deserved it (3461)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55356) - you deserved it (3984)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: