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melbournearsenal

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melbournearsenal
  • Town/Country : Melbourne, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 260
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About melbournearsenal : "I'm a soldier of culture" ~ Kayne West. Follow me on Instagram http://instagram.com/seanaba14

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melbournearsenal's favorite FMLs

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML

Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML

#20577745
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37572) - you deserved it (2750)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28286) - you deserved it (2528)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

#20535134
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30193) - you deserved it (1245)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)

Today, the company I was fired from three years ago merged with the company I work at now. The new owners' first order of business was to fire me again. FML

#20508810
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35991) - you deserved it (1824) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/15/2013 at 8:37pm - work - by Nico - Sent from mobile version

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18605) - you deserved it (33984)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31441) - you deserved it (1963)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

#20401145
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19858) - you deserved it (3293)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

#20400363
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (4017)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML

#20178213
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14182) - you deserved it (845)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (1153)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19800) - you deserved it (1193)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4144) - you deserved it (36210)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27137) - you deserved it (8808)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

#20091945
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (1468)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States



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