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Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4461) - you deserved it (51333)
On 07/19/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25743) - you deserved it (2320)
On 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by Awkward - United States (California)
Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13824) - you deserved it (4177)
On 07/18/2012 at 10:41am - work - by butterball (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, I used a man's shirt as a pillowcase and sprayed it with cologne so I wouldn't feel alone in the night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16057) - you deserved it (5248)
On 07/18/2012 at 10:21am - love - by MaeMoss (woman) - United States
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28633) - you deserved it (2350)
On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22356) - you deserved it (3494)
On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10451) - you deserved it (19211)
On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7717) - you deserved it (21664)
On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18390) - you deserved it (1590)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm - work - by Ian Artis - United States
Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25651) - you deserved it (2935)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19360) - you deserved it (1679)
On 07/11/2012 at 1:04am - kids - by rkbkate - United States (Alabama)
Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18218) - you deserved it (1008)
On 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by Deadcat101 - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21427) - you deserved it (2014)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend told me that because he works fifty hours a week, I should be meeting an arbitrary quota of fifty hours of housework, and if I don't, I'm insensitive and ungrateful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15298) - you deserved it (7186)
On 07/05/2012 at 3:34pm - work - by lazy pregnant girl - United States
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18832) - you deserved it (2692)
On 06/30/2012 at 2:49am - animals - by BloodFaerie (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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