About meihua : So, I just got the new app.
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Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17368) - you deserved it (1307)
On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20916) - you deserved it (1747)
On 08/24/2012 at 11:45am - animals - by alix - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25176) - you deserved it (6388)
On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (14876)
On 08/17/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17406) - you deserved it (5635)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21766) - you deserved it (1118)
On 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm - misc - by jannister (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)
Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22137) - you deserved it (1324)
On 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by youmothERFUCKErs (woman) - United States
Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13717) - you deserved it (7556)
On 08/12/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25420) - you deserved it (2134)
On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12174) - you deserved it (7668)
On 08/07/2012 at 3:17pm - work - by Employee (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14122) - you deserved it (1285)
On 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm - misc - by Alisha - United States (Virginia)
Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19565) - you deserved it (1522)
On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13041) - you deserved it (9480)
On 07/26/2012 at 1:20pm - health - by memphis201 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25388) - you deserved it (4108)
On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27416) - you deserved it (2083)
On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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