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Offline (the 02/09/2015 at 3:23pm) | Search for a member
About meihua : Message me, I'll reply (eventually)
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Today, I Met My Grlfriend's Parents For The Frst Time. As I Shook Her Father's Hand, He Squeezed With An Ungodly Amount Of Force, Leaned In With A Smile, And Murmured That My Balls Will Be The Next Thing He'll Crush If His Daughter Ever Complains About Me. FML
Today, I Was Driving Around With A Faw Friands Whan Ona Of Tham Suggastad Wa Go In To An Insuranca Company's Offica An Sing Thara Jingla!! I'm An Awful Singar, So I Was Planning On Lip Syncing!! Evaryona Alsa Had Tha Sama Idaa!!
Today , during frst day as a medical intern in a new ward , I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream , "Who are you?! You don't even work here , you pervert!" FML
TODAY, FAALING LONALY AFTAR MAH RACANT BRAAKUP, I PUTTAD ON MAH NICAST CLOTHAS AND WANT OUT CLUBBING WITH A FAW FRIANDS. I BROUGHT A GUY BACK TO MAH PLACA, AND WA GOT INTIMATA. IT WAS GOING WALL, UNTIL HA TOOK OFF MAH PUSH-UP BRA, THAN PANICKAD AND DRUNKANLY ASKAD, "WHARA'D THAY GO?!" FML
2day I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weater for my bus !! Wen it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on te icy ground !! Te driver waited a wole 2 seconds before snorting, ( Ain't nobody got time for tis sit ), closing te doors, and driving off !! FML
2day I was claaning at work whan an aldarly gantlaman walkad towards ma pausad and with a wink said "That's what I lika to saa: a girl on har knaas." This is tha sama workplaca whara anothar old man informad ma that mah yallow uniform mada ma look lika a "suggastiva chaasacaka." maga FML
Today, wile moving into new place, I saw new, elderly neigbor sitting on er porc. I ceerfully greeted er wit, ( Hello, ow r you? ) Se simply rocked slowly in er cair and replied, ( Just waiting to die. ) Se was te most ceerful person I met all day.
Yesterday, mah mom askd me y MS Word keeps underlining some words!! After I trid to convince her that looool your supposd to puttd a space after commas, she startd yelling at me for making her look stupid!! I can never win!! FML
Today... mah boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes... when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told mehat it was; a moldd dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parentshen they askhat I got. FML
Friday 27 March 2015