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Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (3844)
On 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by jackmehoffa (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15090) - you deserved it (8038)
On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25235) - you deserved it (1329)
On 03/15/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by Bebefer - United States (California)
Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28387) - you deserved it (4124)
On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I joined a new choir. My director asked me if my best friend was actually my girlfriend. Taken aback, I said no, I was not a lesbian. He then asked me to clarify my gender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22318) - you deserved it (3147)
On 03/01/2012 at 4:43pm - misc - by Rachel - United States
Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23674) - you deserved it (2017)
On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15153) - you deserved it (3069)
On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26329) - you deserved it (2721)
On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I scored the winning goal in my soccer tournament. For the other team. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22814) - you deserved it (11477)
On 11/06/2011 at 1:14am - misc - by XxFA1LxX - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12168) - you deserved it (53555)
On 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm - misc - by planking champion (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21396) - you deserved it (1563)
On 09/27/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (2672)
On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28145) - you deserved it (2449)
On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to a jeweler's to buy a ring to propose to my girlfriend. When I was at the restaurant, in mid-proposal, with people watching, I realized I had left the ring in the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26510) - you deserved it (9689)
On 07/29/2011 at 2:19am - love - by failure - United States (California)
Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39862) - you deserved it (18531)
On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)
Monday 20 May 2013
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