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Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49556) - you deserved it (3137)
On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34617) - you deserved it (6290)
On 05/09/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by fml0505 (man) - United States
Today, I told my family I'm going shopping with my friend "Emma". My sister's been teasing me about this saying, "Emma can't exist! She's not real! You don't have any friends." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37857) - you deserved it (11117)
On 05/08/2013 at 9:22pm - misc - by 19kwhatever (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
I agree, your life sucks (43854) - you deserved it (6053)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53004) - you deserved it (7586)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45469) - you deserved it (9783)
On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)
Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47042) - you deserved it (7539)
On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States
Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50913) - you deserved it (3423)
On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40603) - you deserved it (4301)
On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36739) - you deserved it (3490)
On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52693) - you deserved it (4234)
On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States
Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34033) - you deserved it (3726)
On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my neighbours came to yell at me as they could hear my "shit music" through my window during the afternoon, so I turned it off. They then began to play their definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45926) - you deserved it (3278)
On 03/31/2013 at 2:24am - misc - by BornInTheWrongEra (woman) - United States
Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33795) - you deserved it (2240)
On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36639) - you deserved it (2348) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm - love - by Badam - France (Aquitaine)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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