Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 12:30am) | Search for a member
About meeeaner_th : Paramore. Tokio Hotel. Bullet for my Valentine. Slipknot. Metallica. The Scene Aesthetic. ACDC. Led Zepplin. Triumph. Boston. Kansas. FlyleafFall Out Boy. Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Elliot Minor. Three Days Grace. Razorlight. Evanescense. Disturbed. Muse. The Script. Plain White T's. Greenday. Our Lady of Peace. Linkin Park. Hinder. Framing Hanley. Bring me the Horizon. Shiny Toy Guns. Nickleback. Fightstar.Pendulum. Tenacious D. Hadouken. Korn. Stone Sour. Young Guns. Hawthorne Heights. Escape the Fate. Panic! At the Disco. Biffy Clyro. Taking Back Sunday. Dashboard Confessionals. Blink 182. 30 Seconds to Mars. All Time Low. Enter Shakari. Cute is what we aim for. Metro Station. Sick Puppies. Mindless Self Indulgence... Thats all I can think of right now. =]
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML
Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML
Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML
Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML
Friday 29 May 2015