mcomedyman94

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mcomedyman94

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1745
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mcomedyman94 : They won't let me confirm my account
:(

mcomedyman94's page activity

Visits<b>canigodieinahole</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 11:50pm<b>lirideout</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 12:22pm<b>Kyra1</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 1:48am<b>love_isnt_enough</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 9:37pm<b>Bliepje</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 2:36pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 12:31pm<b>trencher97</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 11:36am<b>augiedd</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 10:39pm<b>dr_texas</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 6:46pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 1:54pm<b>uoeno</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 9:01pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 5:49am<b>J355E</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 10:11pm<b>love_struck97</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 6:56pm<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 7:46pm<b>Woobie621</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 6:31pm<b>BrookieAnn</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 2:53pm<b>chrissy1791</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 2:29pm

mcomedyman94's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of mcomedyman94's badges

mcomedyman94's favorite FMLs

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

by dynah114 / 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

by vagina dentata for christmas, pls / 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm / United States / Love

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

by Job Seeking / 01/22/2013 at 6:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

by daddy's girl / 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

by tingles / 01/19/2013 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Intimacy

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm / Iceland / Work

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

by Keastwood013 / 01/18/2013 at 10:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

by kat124ever / 01/07/2013 at 3:35am / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Love

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

by ashbeat / 01/01/2013 at 10:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

by well, i am now / 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy