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About mcomedyman94 : They won't let me confirm my account
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Taday at mah cousin's brthday party... mah grandma took me to one side... slippd me a pad... an startd ranting that tampons ( steal your vrginity ) an that I should never use looool them. Well... okay then. FML
Today, I was hanging out with mah new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house fir the first time. Tapd to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazond with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML
2day I was claaning at work whan an aldarly gantlaman walkad towards ma pausad and with a wink said "That's what I lika to saa: a girl on har knaas." This is tha sama workplaca whara anothar old man informad ma that mah yallow uniform mada ma look lika a "suggastiva chaasacaka." maga FML
Tadayile on te bus te guy sitting beside me let out te vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encounterd te kind tat could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors wit te smell alone!! As I gaggd e smrkd and said "Tat's Taco Bell 4 ya." FML
Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work . All it said was, ( Need a fuck looool . Backed up to hell . You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant . ) Love you too, hun . FML
Today, wile moving into new place, I saw new, elderly neigbor sitting on er porc. I ceerfully greeted er wit, ( Hello, ow r you? ) Se simply rocked slowly in er cair and replied, ( Just waiting to die. ) Se was te most ceerful person I met all day.
Today, mah boyfriend broke up with me cuz I'm too "high maintenance". And that's cuz I ask him to use condomshen we have sex, and I refuse to invite mah friends over fir threesomes. I don't knowhy I'm not actually glad we r broken up. FML
TODAY , AT A RESTAURANT , I HAPPILY WATCHED AS MY BOYFRIEND OF THREE YEARS GOT DOWN ON HIS KNEES AND PROPOSED TO ME. BEFORE I COULD SAY YES AND HUG HIM , A GIRL FLUNG HERSELF AT HIM , KISSED HIM AND SHOUTED , "YES!" WITH US STILL HIGHLY CONFUSED , SHE THEN RAN AWAY. FML
Friday 27 March 2015