Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mccrightp

Offline (17 hours ago) | Search for a member

mccrightp

9Fucked!

mccrightpmccrightp
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1305
  • Number of comments : 188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About mccrightp : I am the one your parents w a r n e d you about (if they warned you about wildly funny, overweight white guys.).

I'm also a divorced Dad of 2 grown kids. I love current events and reading.

mccrightp's page activity

Visits<b>LoneWolf2879</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:51pm<b>molleelynn</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 7:50pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:22am<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 1:49am<b>insanelocket</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:58pm<b>Busco7</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:36pm<b>Addiepop</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 9:34pm<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 1:16am<b>Envy22</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 10:41pm<b>Berber260</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 5:54pm<b>Whydoyouask</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 3:29am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 12:41pm<b>potatoe_barf</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 11:08am<b>cripcrip</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 2:41am<b>Kingsz</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:52pm<b>kaet</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 1:27am<b>lexred</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 12:42pm<b>melons</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 12:39pm

Fucked!<b>Busco7</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 10:35pm<b>kaet</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 7:27am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 4:41am<b>Mons</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:58pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:45am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:29am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:27pm<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 7:53am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 4:31am

mccrightp's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of mccrightp's badges

mccrightp's favorite FMLs

Today, I confronted my husband about a pair of panties I found in his office. They're his. He put them on to show me that they fit. FML

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

#21508382
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27817) - you deserved it (1649)

On 12/27/2015 at 12:31pm - love - by _schaden_freude - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

#21499606
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23441) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/03/2015 at 7:52am - intimacy - by snortingspunk (woman) - South Africa

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

#21497787
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26212) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/28/2015 at 9:32am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyfml (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked in on my brother jerking off to a breast cancer awareness advert. FML

#21495359
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (2690)

On 11/22/2015 at 12:12am - intimacy - by ugh, why (woman) - Australia

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

#21488826
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20191) - you deserved it (2344)

On 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm - health - by EnderHorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 19 year old brother called me a moron and told me to go read a book, after I corrected him when he said girls don't have colons. FML

#21478457
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23040) - you deserved it (2055)

On 10/10/2015 at 11:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my roommate confided in me that she hadn't been taking showers while at school because she was afraid of being in the shower when the fire alarm goes off. She goes home once every month, and will only shower there. I have to live with her for the rest of the year. FML

#21477257
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24428) - you deserved it (1570)

On 10/07/2015 at 6:07pm - misc - by Utterly_Confused (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead". FML

#21473642
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23465) - you deserved it (4416)

On 09/28/2015 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML

#21469191
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (1746)

On 09/16/2015 at 2:26pm - animals - by Urinator - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

#21462289
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22059) - you deserved it (2048)

On 08/29/2015 at 8:06pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

#21462259
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (2774)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

#21458732
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23786) - you deserved it (5279)

On 08/21/2015 at 1:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, in the second week of August, hell has come to earth; my mom has been playing Christmas music all afternoon and is already searching online for decorations. I hope she buys a length of rope to go with them, because I've already given up on life. FML

#21453582
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23307) - you deserved it (2677)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by brbkillingmyself - United States

Today, as if having an old man shit on the floor of the busy restaurant I work at wasn't bad enough, my manager made a video commentating over the camera footage of me discovering said giant pile of shit, and shared it with the entire staff. This is going to haunt me forever. FML



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: