About mcar : i am a socially awkward cupcake lover.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41008) - you deserved it (7941)
On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57243) - you deserved it (8122)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15281) - you deserved it (51695)
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25994) - you deserved it (5121)
On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35146) - you deserved it (11257)
On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31140) - you deserved it (1859)
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31991) - you deserved it (3181)
On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46530) - you deserved it (3137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26544) - you deserved it (2409)
On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27439) - you deserved it (5370)
On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22239) - you deserved it (8197)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26199) - you deserved it (3972)
On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47673) - you deserved it (4451)
On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12354) - you deserved it (28281)
On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32020) - you deserved it (3559)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic
Monday 20 May 2013
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