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Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28455) - you deserved it (8522)
On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to Walmart to pick up some groceries. When I came out, the front end of my car was crushed in. On the window was a note only saying "Sorry I bumped into your car." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (1480)
On 09/26/2011 at 1:18pm - money - by This Guy - United States
Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30540) - you deserved it (5186)
On 09/26/2011 at 11:35am - intimacy - by Oops (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, my mother followed me to work to see what I got up to. I'm a fitness instructor in a ground floor gym that has big windows overlooking the street. She stood outside and waved at me for half an hour, while I tried to concentrate on teaching a visibly amused class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16566) - you deserved it (1341)
On 09/26/2011 at 12:28am - work - by Username - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mom called me a bastard, told me I should run away, and said I don't deserve to live in her house. All because I didn't use a plate when I ate a Poptart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23325) - you deserved it (2769)
On 09/25/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by sadkid - United States
Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29886) - you deserved it (7015)
On 09/23/2011 at 2:22am - love - by drastech99 - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28824) - you deserved it (3604)
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22183) - you deserved it (25382) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6300) - you deserved it (33337)
On 09/18/2011 at 4:17pm - animals - by shithead (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was at Wal-Mart walking around when I slipped on some water and twisted my ankle. As I was getting up, a man comes up to me and said "There's some water on the floor, watch out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19791) - you deserved it (2207)
On 09/18/2011 at 5:20am - misc - by yeahhhhhommmie (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, our electric horse fence broke. I turned it off so I could fix it. As I was grabbing the fence, my brother thought it would be hilarious to turn the fence back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21814) - you deserved it (2087)
On 09/17/2011 at 7:42pm - animals - by ouch (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20618) - you deserved it (4059)
On 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm - kids - by unknown - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I watched a cat pounce on a small bird and rip it to shreds, feather by feather. It wouldn't have been any worse than mildly disturbing, had I not just spent the last 4 weeks nursing the bird back to health from a broken wing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21304) - you deserved it (1862)
On 09/14/2011 at 7:20pm - animals - by Twitchy (man) - Bahamas (New Providence)
Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34231) - you deserved it (4751)
On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina
Friday 24 May 2013
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