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mazor

Offline (the 12/12/2014 at 8:19am) | Search for a member

mazor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2124
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mazor's page activity

Visits<b>Murilirum</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 5:05am<b>Rinat</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:16am<b>bsmallz3</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:08pm<b>gunda95</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 11:43pm<b>DiJsLifeStyle</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:33pm<b>kristabelli</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:13pm<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 10:46am<b>rosenkrieger223</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 7:49pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 4:29pm<b>iluvpeanutbutter</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 8:50am

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mazor's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

#21315476
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35933) - you deserved it (2627)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31847) - you deserved it (3168)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

#21314442
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31263) - you deserved it (5237)

On 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

#21314000
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30870) - you deserved it (5324)

On 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by #goodbyelife - United States

Today, my mother has issued a 'Christmas Ultimatum'. The rest of us have exactly 2 days to "get some Christmas around here" or we will feel her wrath. FML

#21313942
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24161) - you deserved it (3617)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

#21312925
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29377) - you deserved it (5866)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

#21312610
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31473) - you deserved it (9469)

On 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by fuckered519 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32071) - you deserved it (3012)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40549) - you deserved it (2726)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

#21310722
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18217) - you deserved it (35965)

On 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

#21310077
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31245) - you deserved it (3480)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32618) - you deserved it (4222)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, while at work, I really had to pee. Since my break was soon, I decided to hold it as another customer came to my till, but I didn't see she had 3 trolleys full of food. It took ages to scan all of it, and when I left for my break, I had an empty bladder and a wet seat. FML

#21307515
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31564) - you deserved it (6724)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:27pm - work - by I'm so wet, baby - United Kingdom

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

#21306928
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34787) - you deserved it (3021)

On 11/27/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by Trainer Calypso - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36099) - you deserved it (4231)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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