mazor

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mazor

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7318
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mazor's page activity

Visits<b>GameOps</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 6:09pm<b>ruinmelove</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 10:58pm<b>verysmarmy</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 12:06am<b>pianotie</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 1:52pm<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 7:25am<b>mduckie101</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 4:59pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 6:14am<b>Sergio1553</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 9:15pm<b>Alm1ghty_Push</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 4:00pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 5:07pm<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 11:10am<b>kutemotoka</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:44pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 4:16am<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 6:59am<b>Murilirum</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 5:05am<b>Rinat</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:16am<b>bsmallz3</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:08pm<b>gunda95</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 11:43pm

mazor's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of mazor's badges

mazor's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and his best mate got drunk and decided it would be a good idea to try hitchhike naked for a joke. Although no one was willing to pick up two naked 28 year old-men off the side of the main road, someone did call the cops. They are being held overnight. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 5:17am / New Zealand / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML

by 0h_Boy / 04/20/2016 at 4:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my son is having housing issues, so I let him stay at my place for a while. Today, he found out that the quiet, dorky-looking professor who lives next door is an MMA fighter. He tried to break into the guy's house in the middle of the night and is now in the hospital. FML

by Jim / 04/19/2016 at 1:25pm / United States / Kids

Today, I scored the number of a cute girl. I gave her mine as well, just before leaving the bar. As I waved her goodbye, I attempted to do a cheesy "call me" gesture with my thumb and pinky finger, and winked. For a reason unknown to me, I ended up flipping her off. I still winked though. FML

by killme.jpeg / 04/17/2016 at 9:04pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my period almost a week earlier than I expected to. I also happened to be at the beach with a guy that I really liked when it started. He was the one who noticed, and he informed me by saying that we couldn't go back in the water or we would be eaten by sharks. FML

by Unsuspecting / 04/16/2016 at 8:23am / United States / Health

Today, I had to wait for my family for 12 hours at the wrong airport in Italy, and then take a €170 taxi to their hotel, because my sister thought that Venice and Rome have the same airport when the airline changed their travel plans. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 3 years. She responded by drinking all the alcohol in sight, falling unconscious and pissing herself. Six hours later, she said that I was too immature and that's why it would never work. FML

by random guy / 03/30/2016 at 2:49am / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML

by NotASquirrel / 03/12/2016 at 12:29am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I forgot my phone on the roof of my car. I took a 30 minute drive from my friend's city to my city. I got on to my driveway, surprised to see my phone still there. Thinking I'm really lucky, I pick up my phone. Then, I trip over a pebble, cracking my phone in the process. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2016 at 7:20am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2016 at 7:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

by :x / 02/03/2016 at 10:40am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, I arrived at the kennels I work in to find the power disconnected and the water pump off. This meant I had to bucket water and carry it to keep over sixty assorted dogs and cats alive in temperatures over 90 degrees. The moment I finished, the power came back on. FML

by TooFlamingHot / 01/13/2016 at 9:08pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, at work, a drunk demanded a salad dressing we don't have. He marched into my kitchen and demanded I make it for him. When I said we didn't have the ingredients, he pushed the microwave over and stormed out. My boss came in and wrote me up for being "pushy and rude to customers". FML

by Talis / 01/12/2016 at 8:24am / United States (California) / Work