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mazor

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mazor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1271
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mazor's page activity

Visits<b>kristabelli</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:13pm<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 10:46am<b>rosenkrieger223</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 7:49pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 4:29pm<b>iluvpeanutbutter</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 8:50am

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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mazor's favorite FMLs

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35392) - you deserved it (4109)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29044) - you deserved it (27140)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML

#21245756
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37491) - you deserved it (3318)

On 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm - misc - by WTF, guys? - United States (California)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45357) - you deserved it (8828)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

#21245163
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32112) - you deserved it (2552)

On 08/25/2014 at 4:14pm - misc - by fanaticalfuckspawn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of bordom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

#21243834
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46328) - you deserved it (5479)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42983) - you deserved it (4152)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend sent me pictures of him and his family on their trip in Florida. He accidentally included a picture of a girl sleeping in his bed, naked. FML

#21242918
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46761) - you deserved it (3196)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:02am - love - by lolatmylife - United States

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36407) - you deserved it (6624)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41327) - you deserved it (15305)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38762) - you deserved it (8034) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

#21239690
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37203) - you deserved it (6301)

On 08/17/2014 at 11:19am - misc - by Etrius (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43816) - you deserved it (4827)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41534) - you deserved it (13503)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)



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