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mazdaspeedsteve1

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mazdaspeedsteve1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 July 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 120
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mazdaspeedsteve1's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27413) - you deserved it (4723)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

#19994389
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7966) - you deserved it (46372)

On 07/31/2012 at 11:53am - love - by TheMissMuffly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33273) - you deserved it (2835)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML

#19301577
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27359) - you deserved it (2597)

On 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm - misc - by Rapunzel (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34991) - you deserved it (5312)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24722) - you deserved it (5280)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

#18121591
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32656) - you deserved it (3230)

On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37257) - you deserved it (3276)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

#17450169
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30312) - you deserved it (4412)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Coldsnap - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

#17177083
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37412) - you deserved it (4712)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by PissNTra - United States

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30192) - you deserved it (88416)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

#16541203
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11362) - you deserved it (25527)

On 06/07/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by mongoosemike -

Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

#16381910
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16941) - you deserved it (41289)

On 05/28/2011 at 1:27am - money - by greenhide8 - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36321) - you deserved it (5988)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

#15867292
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28468) - you deserved it (11591)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:24pm - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States



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