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maverik5124

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maverik5124

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1968
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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maverik5124's page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 9:03pm

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maverik5124's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42269) - you deserved it (3539)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street hand in hand with my girlfriend. I couldn't help but stare at a gorgeous girl as she bent down to pick something up. It was such a great sight, I didn't notice the metal telephone pole directly in my path. FML

#17094031
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10086) - you deserved it (91904)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:02pm - misc - by sorehead (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML

#17092331
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38680) - you deserved it (2640)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML

#17090156
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35667) - you deserved it (8572)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Ignored - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73562) - you deserved it (7675)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30600) - you deserved it (6379)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38197) - you deserved it (21761)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

#16951443
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27302) - you deserved it (10591) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML

#16944074
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37899) - you deserved it (4168)

On 07/02/2011 at 1:33am - love - by Amanda - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17444) - you deserved it (61238)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

#16700863
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42634) - you deserved it (9283)

On 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by evomadrid24 - United States (California)

Today, my professor spent the entire class showing us how to make paper airplanes. I pay over 40 grand a year for college. FML

#16694392
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31788) - you deserved it (5563)

On 06/16/2011 at 12:03pm - misc - by Scholar (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

#16690191
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33590) - you deserved it (3889)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

#16685518
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35145) - you deserved it (8924)

On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50222) - you deserved it (7802)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)



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