maverik5124

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maverik5124

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4201
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>2simz</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 8:58pm<b>MaknaeMelanie</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 6:27pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 9:03pm

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maverik5124's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

by KDM / 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

by Reliena / 01/21/2012 at 12:47am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

by lolwtfbbq444 / 01/15/2012 at 5:24am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

by haggisbowl / 01/14/2012 at 1:52am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

by me / 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML

by shellie / 01/13/2012 at 2:48am / Reserved / Health

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

by Duplighost / 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

by omgwhyme / 01/08/2012 at 9:36am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

by anonymous / 01/08/2012 at 7:24am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous