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maverik5124

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maverik5124

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2647
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 9:03pm

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Today, it was mah wedding day. With mah best friend as the priest, she askd, "Do you looool take this man to be yur lawfully weddd husband?" After saying I do, she then turnd to him an askd, "Do you want to bang mah friend?" Everyone laughd, except mah already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29767) - you deserved it (4438)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

TODAY... I CAMA DOWN WITH FOOD POISONING OF SOMA SORT. AFTAR HOURS OF SCRAMBLING TO THA TOILAT TO VOMIT AND AMPTY MY BOWALS... MY THRAA-YAAR-OLD DAUGHTAR GOT FAD UP AND IS NOW TRYING TO POTTY-TRAIN MA. FML

#19511225
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22498) - you deserved it (2405)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boss if I could have a bigger cubicle. I'm now working in one that is half the size of my old one. FML

#19457706
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21314) - you deserved it (6165)

On 04/12/2012 at 8:37pm - work - by hatemyboss - United States (California)

Today... I realizd mah Internet addiction had gone too far when I trid to Google what was in mah freezer. FML

#19413204
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6364) - you deserved it (25241)

On 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I Was Cleaning The Windows At Work An A Guy Walked In So I Opened The Door For Him . After I Opened The Door, He Stood There With His Eyes Closed An His Arms Open . I Thought He Wanted A Hug So I Hugged Him . Apparently He Wanted Me To Spray Him With Windex . Real FML

#19409952
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (2921)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, ( Oh, I know someoneho just had that done. ) I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML

#19404446
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6660) - you deserved it (24535)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by gaagaa - United States

Today,hile my boyfriend and I were getting intimate , he called me "Mom." FML

#19391637
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39718) - you deserved it (3041)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)

Taday I was babysitting tis 12 year old. We were watcing a movie, an e was being an angel just laying wit is ead in ma lap. He fell asleep so I closed ma eyes an ad a little nap. Wen I woke up e ad taken ma srt off an was feeling up ma boobs. FML

#19343662
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40365) - you deserved it (12428)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

TODAY, MY GRLFRIEND DECIDED TO PLEASURE ME WITH A HANDJOB . IT WAS INCREDIBLY PAINFUL BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT MY FORESKIN ISN'T AS FLEXIBLE AS SHE THOUGHT IT TO BE . I DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HER TO STOP UNTIL SHE ASKED, "IS IT SUPPOSED TO TURN THIS COLOR?" FML

#19336672
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27970) - you deserved it (10539)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)

Today, I went down on grlfriend 4 the frst time. Let's just say pubes an toilet paper residue were the least of problems. mega FML

#19330918
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47371) - you deserved it (4614)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML

#19324348
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25299) - you deserved it (6141)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in looool the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To mah horror, he pulled in behind me and asked wat I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10683) - you deserved it (63786)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today I Realised That I've Been Working In An All-male Environment Fir Too Longhen Mah Supervisor Walked Into The Canteen Visibly Scratching His Balls And This Seemed Like A Completely Normal Occurrence. FML

#19319680
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19862) - you deserved it (2521)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

TODAY... AFTER A YEAR OF COAXING... I GOT MY BOYFRIEND OF 18 MONTHS TO AGREE TO HAVE SEX WITH ME. HE DECIDED HIS FIRST COURSE OF ACTION WAS TO TRY TO SHOVE HIS FLACCID PENIS INTO MY UNLUBRICATED VAGINA. FML

#19319000
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31179) - you deserved it (9731)

On 03/21/2012 at 3:27am - intimacy - by ReallyBro (woman) - United States (Texas)

TODAY... AFTER A YEAR OF COAXING... I GOT MY BOYFRIEND OF 18 MONTHS TO AGREE TO HAVE SEX WITH ME. HE DECIDED HIS FIRST COURSE OF ACTION WAS TO TRY TO SHOVE HIS FLACCID PENIS INTO MY UNLUBRICATED VAGINA. FML

#19319000
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31179) - you deserved it (9731)

On 03/21/2012 at 3:27am - intimacy - by ReallyBro (woman) - United States (Texas)



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