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maverik5124

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maverik5124

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2134
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 9:03pm

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maverik5124's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27607) - you deserved it (4217)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20832) - you deserved it (2243)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boss if I could have a bigger cubicle. I'm now working in one that is half the size of my old one. FML

#19457706
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19868) - you deserved it (5911)

On 04/12/2012 at 8:37pm - work - by hatemyboss - United States (California)

Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML

#19413204
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5905) - you deserved it (23892)

On 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20404) - you deserved it (2911)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML

#19404446
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6512) - you deserved it (24119)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by gaagaa - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

#19391637
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38255) - you deserved it (2894)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40172) - you deserved it (12380)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

#19336672
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27804) - you deserved it (10498)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47181) - you deserved it (4594)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML

#19324348
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25085) - you deserved it (6118)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9981) - you deserved it (61377)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML

#19319680
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18311) - you deserved it (2378)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

#19319000
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30967) - you deserved it (9707)

On 03/21/2012 at 3:27am - intimacy - by ReallyBro (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

#19319000
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30967) - you deserved it (9707)

On 03/21/2012 at 3:27am - intimacy - by ReallyBro (woman) - United States (Texas)



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