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Today, I wanted to print out a 100 page game strategy guide using company's printer . While not wanting anyone to fine out about this I picked a time where I thought no one would be printing . My CEO ended up standing next to me 4 10 minutes waiting 4 his stuff to print after mine . mega FML
Today, I confronted mah fiancé an told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on 4 a couple of months. FML
yesterday I got home from visiting my long-distance girlfriend. I spent $366 to get a plane ticket to visit her fir the week. The day after I arrived there, she broke up with me and I had to buy a ticket fir an earlier flight home. With fees and penalties, I paid around $550 to be broken up with. FML
Today, I was about to loose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 yeres, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm making this up. FML
2day After Driving A Few Hours Late At Night I Decided To Entertain The Car Tailgating Me By Not Letting Him Pass. After Doing This 4 3miles, Reaching 93MPH, I Decided To Let The Car Pass Me. When I Switched Lanes, The Car Tailgating Me Light Up In Red And Blue. It Was A Cop. FML
Today... mah ten year old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol r alcoholics. Therefore I am an alcoholic fir drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school an they tried to have an intervention. They pray fir me every day. FML
Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt . When he told me I had tenni elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis" . Then he asked me if I had a grlfriend . When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML
Today, we were swimming in gym class . There are some cute girls in our class and they were wereing there bikinis . I was looking at them when I got an erection but since I was underwater I thought no one would see . I'm on the diving team so teacher asked me to demonstrate a dive to the class . FML
TODAY, I WENT SKINNY-DIPPING WITH MAH BEST FRIEND. WE WERE ON THE BEACH AN IT WAS FAIRLY CROWDD BUT WE GOT IN THE WATER AT THIS REALLY SECLUDD AREA. WHILE WE WERE SWIMMING I LOOKD UP TO SEE A HOMELESS MAN WEREING MAH CLOTHES, WALKING AWAY. FML
Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of mah ski hat by mah twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf an have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML
Taday I was nuda modaling 4 tha first tima 4 a lifa art class . Tha only critaria 4 tha class was that I not mova at all whila baing obsarvd . Aftar a faw saconds I noticd a raally hot girl drawing ma . I got a hard on . FML
Friday 27 March 2015