Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

maverik5124

Search for a member

maverik5124

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1987
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

maverik5124's page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 9:03pm

maverik5124's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of maverik5124's badges

maverik5124's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

#4133351
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61014) - you deserved it (6521)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to see a movie. While buying tickets, the girl behind the counter asked to show my ID card to proof I'm at least 16 years old. Not wanting to make a drama, I showed it. She took a look at it and declared it as fake. That ID is real and I'm 24. FML

#4107036
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52340) - you deserved it (2875)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Limburg)

Today, my immature dad said I am a girl not a woman, so my witty response was ''I have a period, I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML

#4068600
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45632) - you deserved it (14850)

On 07/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by bookworm94 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my immature dad said I am a girl not a woman, so my witty response was ''I have a period, I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML

#4068600
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45632) - you deserved it (14850)

On 07/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by bookworm94 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my immature dad said I am a girl not a woman, so my witty response was ''I have a period, I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML

#4068600
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45632) - you deserved it (14850)

On 07/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by bookworm94 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was fired from the babysitting job I have had for 2 years. I thought maybe the mother had found out that I sometimes let her kids stay up late and have extra sweets. The real reason, as she told me, was that she didn't want her kids loving anyone more than they love her. FML

#3949898
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52210) - you deserved it (3074)

On 07/22/2009 at 8:17am - work - by babysitter93 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27203) - you deserved it (59762)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was meeting the mayor of a major city as part of an internship program. Seated directly in front of him during his presentation on the budget crisis, he unleashed an enormous, foul fart in front of the entire audience. And then blamed it on me, everyone believed him. FML

#3859879
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50249) - you deserved it (2645)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:10pm - work - by justdoingmyjob (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

#3684210
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69613) - you deserved it (12233)

On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, I moved in with my brother to save on a swanky apartment. I was skeptical as to how this would work out as we fought a lot as kids. Our first big fight? Whether or not to keep his dorm-style futon complete with Return of the Jedi sheets. He's a 35-yr old physician; I'm a 28-yr old lawyer. FML

#3669559
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34203) - you deserved it (9899)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by bdiddy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm studying abroad in Russia, and I lost my keys to my dorm room. In the office I asked for a spare and she spoke really fast so I couldn't hear her. Assuming I don't speak Russian, she gets on the phone and calls maintenance saying, "There is this ugly girl about to cry... come fix it." FML

#3635779
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47727) - you deserved it (3165)

On 07/10/2009 at 8:50am - misc - by icanunderstand (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63854) - you deserved it (12493)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63854) - you deserved it (12493)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

#3368467
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76330) - you deserved it (11475)

On 06/30/2009 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82969) - you deserved it (14169)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: