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maverik5124

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maverik5124
  • Town/Country : at Home :P
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1603
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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maverik5124's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23470) - you deserved it (5118)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46052) - you deserved it (7424)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML

#7348405
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9731) - you deserved it (15076)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by nooneatall - Sent from mobile version

Today, for my art project, I spent hours painting my whole body in black spots with acrylic paint. I then went and stood outside in the snow, naked, so I could take pictures of it. Only then to find out the camera was out of batteries. FML

#7197887
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5821) - you deserved it (22382)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:36am - misc - by Boob (woman) - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

#6808651
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31424) - you deserved it (1909)

On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU", it really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML

#6785905
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20971) - you deserved it (9810)

On 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24705) - you deserved it (6439)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML

#6748353
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8526) - you deserved it (22540)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:49am - health - by WIIslave (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6575) - you deserved it (31475)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in my best guy friend's bed to the sound of him jerking off. As I laid there motionless with my back to him, he reached around me to grab a tissue. I don't think I can ever speak to him again. FML

#6676757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18284) - you deserved it (3857)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by dfkjhregoiuberiug (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML

#6476198
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4441) - you deserved it (41448)

On 11/27/2009 at 9:13am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went through with my elaborate plans to propose to my girlfriend with creativity. I took her skydiving and proposed in midair. She rejected. Why? She wanted a more "traditional" proposal. FML

#6283772
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27446) - you deserved it (5945)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:14am - love - by rejectedmidair (man) - United States (California)

Today, my credit card number was stolen. The thief used it to purchase identity theft protection. FML

#6248047
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31545) - you deserved it (2223)

On 11/10/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML

#6154190
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30331) - you deserved it (15739)

On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML

#5820033
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7261) - you deserved it (36218)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)



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