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maverik5124

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maverik5124

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2645
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 9:03pm

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Today, I went to my grandmom's house 4 an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets an about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg an couldn't get it off cuz it "hurts too much." I'm 24 an he's 26. FML

#20616232
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36914) - you deserved it (5047)

On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY, AT A CHRISTMA PARTY, MY CRUSH CAME UP TO ME AND CUTELY POINTED OUT THAT I WAS STANDING UNDER MISTLETOE. THE ONLY RESPONSE MY STUPID BRAIN COULD THINK OF WAS, "PROBABLY FULL OF NARGLE THOUGH." HE GAVE ME A CONFUSED LOOK AND WALKED AWAY. MEGA FML

#20402533
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27319) - you deserved it (12895)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

TODAY, IN BREAK FROM TRADITION, I PROPOSED TO MAH BOYFRIEND!! WE WERE AT A JAPANESE PAGODA!! WATER WAS TRICKLING EVERYWHERE; THE MOMENT WAS PERFECT!! WHILE I WAS ON MAH KNEE, AFTER POURING MAH HEART OUT, HE LOOKED WISTFULLY OUT OVER THE WATER AND SAID, "SO, I WAS THINKING PIZZA TONIGHT." FML

#20173702
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (5899)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I Was Told That My Insurance Will No Longer Cover My Birth Control As It's Deemed "unnecessary" Fir A Man, Which, According To Them, I've Been Since August. I'm Definitely Still A Woman. FML

I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down looool for a talk , only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore , for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9705) - you deserved it (34404)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was getting intimate with mah grlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

#20132312
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (16537)

On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Taday I discoverd a way to send a massive number of text messages to someone simultaneously, so I decidd to do it to my friend as a prank. I quickly noticd that I forgot to disable the delivery notification feature.

#20124484
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4483) - you deserved it (35193) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/19/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Jugan - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, mah teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost mah vrginity!! I sarcastically replied that I'm still a vrgin!! She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder your so uptight!! You need to get laid, mom." mega FML

#20104739
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27101) - you deserved it (6956)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

2day I woke up to a nude picture of mah girlfriend . Once I looked at it mah morning wood went away . FML

#19886014
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33195) - you deserved it (8319)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by bob - United States (Ohio)

I saw a large spider carry away te body of a dead spider in te batroom. In my antropology class, we learned one of te first signs of civilization is caring for te dead. First, tey become civilized, and next, tey take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today , an attractive guy asked me to get coffee wit im. My response was , "I don't drink coffee." I just turned down te frst guy tat's asked me out in 3 monts. mega FML

#19861770
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8063) - you deserved it (36957)

On 06/28/2012 at 5:55pm - love - by sierra - United States

Today , the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch.

Today, I was getting dirty with mah boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, ( It feels lyk the looool inside of mah asshole. ) big fat FML

#19810073
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44285) - you deserved it (4072)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

TODAY, I KINDLY ASKED MAH BOYFRIEND TO SHAVE HIS PUBIC HAIR TO MAKE ORAL SEX MORE ENJOYABLE 4 ME. HE DECLINED, SAYING, "THINK OF IT AS FLOSSING YUR TEETH. I'M DOING U A MUCH NEEDED FAVOR." FML

#19803721
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30411) - you deserved it (5217)

On 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by turnedoff (woman) - United States

Today, I walkd in on my wife masturbating . Naturally, I askd er if se needd some elp . Se replid, "Na, I've got tis." mega FML

#19783126
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27359) - you deserved it (15842)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)



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