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mauhavok

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mauhavok
  • Town/Country : DF, México
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 February 1992 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 9383
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About mauhavok : my life is fucked up..... every thursday

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mauhavok's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML

#2107196
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14676) - you deserved it (45854)

On 05/20/2009 at 5:07am - animals - by catlover (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

#1972272
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53942) - you deserved it (21835)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

#1753127
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55043) - you deserved it (9221)

On 05/08/2009 at 5:46pm - misc - by man (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

#1704585
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57045) - you deserved it (2326)

On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

#1475511
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79350) - you deserved it (7782)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by cgold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

#1453860
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136997) - you deserved it (10240)

On 04/29/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by fingerfuckd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19529) - you deserved it (96046)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called my favorite radio station over and over, trying to be the 40th caller to win sold-out concert tickets, each time holding my thumb over the button to quickly hang up and re-dial if busy. I finally got through and they congratulated me being the winning caller! By habit, I hung up. FML

Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML

#929724
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66173) - you deserved it (11176)

On 04/12/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

#923154
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110197) - you deserved it (4830)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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