mauhavok

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mauhavok

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 February 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9818
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About mauhavok : my life is fucked up..... every thursday

mauhavok's page activity

Visits<b>abhi95</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:45pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 9:00am<b>Traitoro</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 12:29pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:25pm<b>egamage</b> - the 05/25/2011 at 5:03am<b>Naveh</b> - the 04/15/2011 at 7:25am<b>brianjman14</b> - the 04/11/2011 at 12:51am<b>attatood</b> - the 04/09/2011 at 9:40pm<b>Zero_Demon</b> - the 04/08/2011 at 12:59am<b>ShotgunMessiah</b> - the 04/06/2011 at 8:27am<b>Trippchic</b> - the 04/05/2011 at 11:37pm<b>QXR2</b> - the 04/04/2011 at 6:01pm<b>Chunchunchun</b> - the 04/04/2011 at 8:24am<b>jailbot</b> - the 04/03/2011 at 2:29pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 11:58am<b>Pingvinai</b> - the 08/18/2010 at 5:30pm<b>nickaustindaniel</b> - the 08/11/2010 at 11:02pm<b>Mochi95</b> - the 08/11/2010 at 10:13am

mauhavok's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mauhavok's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML

by catlover / 05/20/2009 at 5:07am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

by UncleRory / 05/16/2009 at 5:13am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

by man / 05/08/2009 at 5:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

by Gumfanatic302 / 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

by cgold / 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

by fingerfuckd / 04/29/2009 at 11:47am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

by BARF / 04/27/2009 at 9:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I called my favorite radio station over and over, trying to be the 40th caller to win sold-out concert tickets, each time holding my thumb over the button to quickly hang up and re-dial if busy. I finally got through and they congratulated me being the winning caller! By habit, I hung up. FML

by LonelyFrog / 04/13/2009 at 11:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

by Aprilfools / 04/12/2009 at 6:47am / United States (Oregon) / Love