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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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mauhavok

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mauhavok
  • Town/Country : DF, México
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 February 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 8940
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About mauhavok : my life is fucked up..... every thursday

mauhavok's last visitors

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mauhavok's favorite FMLs

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

#7239048 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (20624) - you deserved it (7735)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by dollybabe (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (2780)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

#4566458 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (41337) - you deserved it (6746)

On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML

#3731184 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (33394) - you deserved it (6126)

On 07/13/2009 at 11:03pm - animals - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

#3254274 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (35995) - you deserved it (7770)

On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

#3176908 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (38903) - you deserved it (20705)

On 06/24/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by BadBribe (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my car was impounded because I never registered it in California after moving here. In order to get it back, I need to register it. In order to register it, I need to pass a CA smog check. In order to pass the smog check, I need my car. FML

#3153262 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (43338) - you deserved it (9401)

On 06/23/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by nicklesg (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

#3078421 (383)

I agree, your life sucks (49820) - you deserved it (19633)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML

#2298353 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (44193) - you deserved it (12467)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:38am - kids - by tsakashvili (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

#2147353 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (68941) - you deserved it (32611)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML

#2107196 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (11976) - you deserved it (34921)

On 05/20/2009 at 5:07am - animals - by catlover (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

#1972272 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (49952) - you deserved it (17807)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

#1753127 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (48919) - you deserved it (7181)

On 05/08/2009 at 5:46pm - misc - by man (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

#1704585 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (51535) - you deserved it (1673)

On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

#1475511 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (67254) - you deserved it (5550)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by cgold (woman) - United States (California)