mattman1994

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mattman1994

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7391
  • Number of comments : 472
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About mattman1994 : I'm Matt. I like art, football, and I play the guitar. I like to make people laugh.

I'm 16, of course I'm not going to shut up

mattman1994's page activity

Visits<b>Ajax_Teh_Great</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 3:41am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 12:26pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 10:48pm<b>cupcakegirl0424</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:06am<b>Benpie</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 1:06pm<b>screamogirl123</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 12:50am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 7:51am<b>ThePerry</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 10:19am<b>liyate</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 2:56am<b>Marjo86</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 3:53am<b>pxnicatthedisco</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:53pm<b>youdontsay123456</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 10:41am<b>ejamitchell1</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 5:44am<b>11Tec11</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 3:06pm<b>bryce054</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 3:10pm<b>ExpectNeo</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 5:16pm<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 2:51pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 7:01pm

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 6:26pm<b>Benpie</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 7:06pm<b>screamogirl123</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 6:50am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 1:51pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 11:15pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 12:21am<b>DedSecUser</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 1:57pm

mattman1994's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mattman1994's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic-Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up... out my left nostril. FML

by DeepTaccer / 10/30/2010 at 5:28pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Health

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 4:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my dads cremated remains came in the mail. This is the first time, in my entire adult life, that he has visited me at my home. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2010 at 3:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

by Embarrassed / 10/01/2010 at 9:06am / United States / Health

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent the entire day at school being called Meg. My name isn't Meg, so I started to get really annoyed and confused. Later, I found out it was because I look like Meg from the show Family Guy. She's known for being unpopular, unwanted, ugly, and stupid. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 6:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids