Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About mastermadman : I'm 20 years old, single, and I live with two roommates, who are boyfriend and girlfriend. I have the uncanny ability to see things objectively and with a keen sense of justice. I have a good sense of right and wrong. Though I have lived a comparatively "drama-free" life, I don't need my life to be f***ed on a regular basis to give a sound and compassionate opinion. That's who I am, and I call'em as I see'em.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML
Today, I was working at Coldstone. When a customer tips us we are required to sing. A late night DJ came in, put 20 dollars in the tip cup, and asked to hear every song we had. After we sang one song he looked at me and asked me to please stop singing or he was taking his money back. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML
Friday 24 October 2014