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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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martinezcory

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martinezcory
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 302
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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martinezcory's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML

#5938772 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (9979) - you deserved it (3889)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

#5925433 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (28963) - you deserved it (4589)

On 10/21/2009 at 4:27am - misc - by sore (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend. I noticed that he had added a signature onto his texts that had the date 11/10/09. At first, I blushed and thought it was the date we had become a couple. But then I realized it was just the day the new Call of Duty game comes out. Love you too. FML

#5908509 (326)

I agree, your life sucks (12438) - you deserved it (21653)

On 10/20/2009 at 1:26am - love - by gamergirlfriend (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new yankee stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!". It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML

#1830985 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (5804) - you deserved it (65507)

On 05/10/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by XxespoxX (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was hanging out at my school with some friends when my mom came to pick me up. A girl I knew wanted a hug before I left. I turned around to hug her and a clip on my backpack got stuck on her tank top. I tuned away the clip pulled the shirt ripping it and exposing her naked chest. FML

#1342086 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (53126) - you deserved it (5701)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Mikey (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a friends trampoline trying to convince my mom trampolines are safe and I should get one. While telling her I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML

#1124762 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (33019) - you deserved it (24360)

On 04/19/2009 at 5:44pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to get dressed up for school because it's my birthday. I was heading to class in my heels. Then, I rolled my ankle, fell down the muddy hill, pulled a leg muscle, and scratched up my knees. At least ten people saw it. I was wearing a white skirt. Happy Birthday. FML

#266744 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (45205) - you deserved it (9326)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by birthdaygirl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML

#19088 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (30009) - you deserved it (9775)

On 02/09/2009 at 10:59pm - misc - by annoyed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (4984) - you deserved it (17007)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version