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martinezbomb236

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martinezbomb236

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  • Number of visits : 33
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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martinezbomb236's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35192) - you deserved it (6764)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

#20526546
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10803) - you deserved it (36819)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16182) - you deserved it (34566)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25228) - you deserved it (43075)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

#20499258
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40993) - you deserved it (5298)

On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57301) - you deserved it (10855)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57301) - you deserved it (10855)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45397) - you deserved it (5931) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28974) - you deserved it (3585)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML

#20482739
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33151) - you deserved it (6194)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25905) - you deserved it (3199)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49215) - you deserved it (13921)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

#20482339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32184) - you deserved it (2848)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm - misc - by j_Lauren (woman) - United States

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36793) - you deserved it (2408)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML

#20481856
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25277) - you deserved it (1988)

On 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm - health - by ihatemylife - United States (Illinois)



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