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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (52129) - you deserved it (6807)
On 04/22/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54976) - you deserved it (3079)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States
Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48582) - you deserved it (2555)
On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30488) - you deserved it (2037)
On 03/11/2013 at 3:57pm - misc - by Sir_ND_Pity - United States (California)
Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35587) - you deserved it (3338)
On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States
Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28125) - you deserved it (2160)
On 03/08/2013 at 6:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18095) - you deserved it (7232)
On 05/10/2012 at 2:44am - misc - by reddd - United States
Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11651) - you deserved it (14909)
On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25724) - you deserved it (3121)
On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - money - by notsosmart - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw and wearing hockey masks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28205) - you deserved it (3765)
On 01/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by unlucky dudebag - United States (California)
Today, I confessed to my best friend that I love him and always have. He whispered to himself, "Why do the fat chicks always want me?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32926) - you deserved it (6341)
On 11/17/2010 at 3:03am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, one of my coworkers called to remind me about the annual costume day at work this morning. I dressed as Pocahontas. There is no annual costume day. I was fired for dressing inappropriately in front of customers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (4422)
On 10/25/2010 at 9:47pm - work - by pocahontas (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I got into a car accident. I got into it because I noticed a flashy new sign on the highway that read "Being an attentive driver prevents car crashes". Thanks for the notice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17444) - you deserved it (4448)
On 12/24/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by RoxMySox - United States (Texas)
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26971) - you deserved it (5572)
On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27010) - you deserved it (2086)
On 10/10/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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