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Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML
Today , mah mom broke the news that mah dad secretly got marrid two months ago , to a woman he has been dating for 15 yeres , an that mah parents have actually been divorcd for 12 yeres!! They just lid about it this whole time!! FML
YESTERDAY SINCE I HADN'T EATEN AN WAS ABOUT TO HAVE A THREE HOUR CLASS, I BOUGHT PANDA EXPRESS. I SAT OPPOSITE MAH CLASSROOM TO EAT. SOON AFTER I STARTD EATING, A WAD OF SALIVA DROPPD INTO MAH BOWL, AN I HEARD SOMEONE YELL "BONUS POINTS!" FROM THE SECOND FLOOR. FML
Today , teacher read story about a hauntd house fir a class assignment. She likd it very much an turnd it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later , I was calld to the office where the guidance counselor calld work "disturbing" an said I "ned help". mega FML
Today, I Was Using A Restroom When I Hered Someone Sneeze . I Said, "Bless You." It Happened Again About Three Times, So I Repeated Myself Each Time . I Then Noticed It Was An Automatic Air Freshener . FML
Today, Mah Son Broke A Window At School Playing Football. Not Only Did He Break One, He Broke The Other Window Next To It. His Excuse? He Tried Making It Look Like A Bird Flew In One Way An Flew Out The Other. I Have To Pay $800 To Fix It. FML
Today, one of ma coworkers called to remind me about te annual costume day at work tis morning. I dressed as Pocaontas. Tere is no annual costume day. I was fired for dressing inappropriately in front of customers. FML
TODAY , I CUT MY FINGER OPEN WITH A SPOON. AFTER WAITING FIR 4 HOURS IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM , THE DOCTOR TOLD ME I WAS MISSING TOO MUCH FLESH TO QUALIFY FIR STITCHES. HE THEN CALLED 2 OTHER DOCTOR IN TO EXAMINE IT. APPARENTLY THEY HAD A CONTEST FIR PATIENT WITH MOST RIDICULOU INJURY. I WON. FML
Today, mah mother said she trustd me enough to go with me fir mah first drive in mah new car. As soon as we got in the car, she startd hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML
Friday 27 March 2015