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marshmalllows

Offline (the 07/24/2015 at 9:19pm) | Search for a member

marshmalllows

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1064
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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marshmalllows's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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marshmalllows's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

#21446247
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21434) - you deserved it (8744)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by stargate25 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML

#21438922
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28080) - you deserved it (8527)

On 07/09/2015 at 7:20am - intimacy - by who_cares - United States (California)

Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML

#21421711
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30878) - you deserved it (5509)

On 06/06/2015 at 10:37am - love - by sad and hungry (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

#21414342
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (3107)

On 05/23/2015 at 7:06am - kids - by DENTALITY (woman) - Norway

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12678) - you deserved it (43421)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

#21406694
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30623) - you deserved it (2794)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised I've been depressed about my recent break up for longer than the relationship even lasted. FML

Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML

#21401085
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37168) - you deserved it (2803)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:26am - misc - by WasNotAdopted (man) - United States (California)

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

#21398963
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28332) - you deserved it (3126)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:07am - intimacy - by someoneneedsassistance - United States (Virginia)

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

#21397356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29034) - you deserved it (3522)

On 04/21/2015 at 9:48am - love - by veiny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

#21396485
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14043) - you deserved it (26984)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:39pm - love - by queenbitch - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

#21388113
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32151) - you deserved it (3572)

On 04/05/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Itsbeen8years (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77) - you deserved it (177)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia



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