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marshmalllows

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marshmalllows

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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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marshmalllows's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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marshmalllows's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my husband if he could at least try to give me an orgasm. His response? "Um... why?" FML

#21525139
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9985) - you deserved it (983)

On 02/11/2016 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by not satisfied - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he wanted to throw me a surprise birthday party. The only issue was the fact I didn't have any friends to make it happen. FML

#21524278
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17573) - you deserved it (1590)

On 02/09/2016 at 12:17am - misc - by nofriends - United States (Idaho)

Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML

#21512914
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23579) - you deserved it (2096)

On 01/08/2016 at 4:48pm - love - by fuglymug (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that the only reason my "friend" comes over to my apartment is so that she can charge her phone using my electricity, because she's too cheap to use her own. FML

#21511971
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19386) - you deserved it (1512)

On 01/05/2016 at 11:19pm - money - by Becca_Jo - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I texted her over the course of our relationship. My office, the bars I like to go to, favorite restaurants, my mom's place, my place, my penis, etc. FML

#21511030
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21658) - you deserved it (3885)

On 01/03/2016 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by ywouldudomelikethat (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

#21510678
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you deserved it (22364)

On 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML

#21508974
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22879) - you deserved it (1705)

On 12/29/2015 at 4:49am - misc - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my brother jerking off to a breast cancer awareness advert. FML

#21495359
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25902) - you deserved it (2689)

On 11/22/2015 at 12:12am - intimacy - by ugh, why (woman) - Australia

Today, I woke up at 7, got to college by 7:40 to receive an email that my 8:00 a.m. class got cancelled. I stayed there until 12:00 p.m. for my second class, to then find out that the cancelled class was the one at 12:00, not 8:00. FML

#21491152
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (5497)

On 11/11/2015 at 7:18am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, after years of difficulty, I finally found the perfect shade of foundation that matches my ultra-pale complexion. It's called "Death Flesh." FML

#21486907
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22915) - you deserved it (2179)

On 11/01/2015 at 1:22pm - misc - by 2pale - United States (Texas)

Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML

#21486017
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21005) - you deserved it (1936)

On 10/29/2015 at 11:21pm - misc - by qourt - United States

Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML

#21485281
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25152) - you deserved it (3299)

On 10/28/2015 at 12:11am - misc - by welp - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother told me I should volunteer in Africa, because I might "get lucky, catch malaria and come back skinny". FML

#21474470
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26034) - you deserved it (2206)

On 09/30/2015 at 2:47am - health - by strayy (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my dad introduced me as his pet orangutan. I'm a redhead. FML

Today, I got fired from my nannying job because one of the mom's several boyfriends mentioned that he found me attractive. FML



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Friday 5 February 2016

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