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marshmalllows

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marshmalllows

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  • Number of visits : 757
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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marshmalllows's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39238) - you deserved it (3468)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

#21221426
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40048) - you deserved it (2979)

On 07/26/2014 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

#21220536
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40716) - you deserved it (7777)

On 07/25/2014 at 6:46pm - misc - by xXshitface4uXx (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

#21220481
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40129) - you deserved it (9385)

On 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39954) - you deserved it (20556)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51185) - you deserved it (4842)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29206) - you deserved it (37452)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

#21213512
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43788) - you deserved it (6005)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm - kids - by kids say the darnedest things - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46769) - you deserved it (5759)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50630) - you deserved it (4187)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets to spend the night with me in the hospital tonight while I have surgery. FML

#21209860
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45159) - you deserved it (3648)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:11pm - health - by smh (woman) - United States

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

#21209385
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44585) - you deserved it (5184)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm - intimacy - by thedoc (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

#21208907
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39033) - you deserved it (4974)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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