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marshmalllows

Offline (the 02/24/2015 at 5:23am) | Search for a member

marshmalllows

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marshmalllows's favorite FMLs

Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML

#21361215
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26112) - you deserved it (3731)

On 02/22/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by tom28402 - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML

#21360309
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28325) - you deserved it (7221)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML

#21352091
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34141) - you deserved it (2603)

On 02/08/2015 at 1:28pm - misc - by sorry :/ - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML

#21331295
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30716) - you deserved it (6371)

On 01/05/2015 at 12:58pm - kids - by midwify (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I finally noticed after months of having the same cover photo on several websites, that it looks like I have a bushel of armpit hair due to a shadow. FML

#21331000
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25065) - you deserved it (4282)

On 01/04/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by pits (woman) -

Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML

#21330412
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31512) - you deserved it (1918)

On 01/04/2015 at 1:46am - work - by gothicvamp93 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML

#21329874
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40531) - you deserved it (8428)

On 01/03/2015 at 5:48am - love - by JJ_V3N0M - United States (California)

Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML

#21329640
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26762) - you deserved it (4023)

On 01/02/2015 at 10:11pm - misc - by whatajerk (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (2168)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40765) - you deserved it (3221)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

Today, I'm celebrating New Years with my cat. I made her a cake. FML

#21328260
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27473) - you deserved it (5893)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:25am - misc - by HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a letter from my long time boyfriend asking me to meet him at the place we first met for a "surprise". I can't remember where that even is. FML

#21327916
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26635) - you deserved it (10659)

On 12/31/2014 at 3:59pm - love - by lunab123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

#21326143
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30313) - you deserved it (15224)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my husband came home with a Christmas gift from a coworker. It's the same thing I got him. FML

#21323028
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31304) - you deserved it (2832)

On 12/24/2014 at 12:56am - misc - by now what - United States (California)



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