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marshmalllows

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marshmalllows

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marshmalllows's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (1)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

#21364495
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31879) - you deserved it (3007)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:13am - love - by shoggoth_wild - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML

#21361215
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28266) - you deserved it (3889)

On 02/22/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by tom28402 - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML

#21360309
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30146) - you deserved it (7579)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML

#21352091
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34301) - you deserved it (2610)

On 02/08/2015 at 1:28pm - misc - by sorry :/ - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML

#21331295
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30767) - you deserved it (6385)

On 01/05/2015 at 12:58pm - kids - by midwify (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I finally noticed after months of having the same cover photo on several websites, that it looks like I have a bushel of armpit hair due to a shadow. FML

#21331000
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25687) - you deserved it (4525)

On 01/04/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by pits (woman) -

Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML

#21330412
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31541) - you deserved it (1918)

On 01/04/2015 at 1:46am - work - by gothicvamp93 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML

#21329874
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40586) - you deserved it (8428)

On 01/03/2015 at 5:48am - love - by JJ_V3N0M - United States (California)

Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML

#21329640
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26755) - you deserved it (4022)

On 01/02/2015 at 10:11pm - misc - by whatajerk (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30151) - you deserved it (2170)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40821) - you deserved it (3224)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

Today, I'm celebrating New Years with my cat. I made her a cake. FML

#21328260
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27495) - you deserved it (5898)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:25am - misc - by HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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