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marshmalllows

Offline (the 10/20/2014 at 12:30pm) | Search for a member

marshmalllows

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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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marshmalllows's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32733) - you deserved it (3280)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

#21280487
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35930) - you deserved it (2499)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35557) - you deserved it (5779)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35402) - you deserved it (7050)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML

#21276226
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35024) - you deserved it (3517)

On 10/12/2014 at 1:38pm - misc - by Mc2013 (woman) - United States

Today, it was report card day at swimming lessons. Because it was the last day, a little girl brought me flowers. She was the only kid in that class who didn't pass. FML

#21251459
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39788) - you deserved it (3398)

On 09/03/2014 at 9:31pm - work - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was punched in the face because my uncontrollable hiccups were "annoying". FML

#21250817
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (3810)

On 09/02/2014 at 10:13pm - health - by soccer8goalie - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50452) - you deserved it (2480)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36332) - you deserved it (2694)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46837) - you deserved it (3798)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44519) - you deserved it (4473)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41305) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

#21248169
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35573) - you deserved it (8701)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

#21247953
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42474) - you deserved it (5695)

On 08/29/2014 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by SCARRED (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, it was my great aunt's funeral. We all had to wait two hours for the service to begin, because they forgot to dig the grave. FML

#21247920
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37615) - you deserved it (2241)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:54pm - misc - by abbshows (man) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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