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marshmalllows

Offline (the 01/07/2015 at 4:38am) | Search for a member

marshmalllows

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marshmalllows's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML

#21331295
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (6354)

On 01/05/2015 at 12:58pm - kids - by midwify (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I finally noticed after months of having the same cover photo on several websites, that it looks like I have a bushel of armpit hair due to a shadow. FML

#21331000
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25019) - you deserved it (4280)

On 01/04/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by pits (woman) -

Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML

#21330412
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31415) - you deserved it (1911)

On 01/04/2015 at 1:46am - work - by gothicvamp93 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML

#21329874
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39705) - you deserved it (7941)

On 01/03/2015 at 5:48am - love - by JJ_V3N0M - United States (California)

Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML

#21329640
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26698) - you deserved it (4017)

On 01/02/2015 at 10:11pm - misc - by whatajerk (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30052) - you deserved it (2167)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40285) - you deserved it (3195)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

Today, I'm celebrating New Years with my cat. I made her a cake. FML

#21328260
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (5883)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:25am - misc - by HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a letter from my long time boyfriend asking me to meet him at the place we first met for a "surprise". I can't remember where that even is. FML

#21327916
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26560) - you deserved it (10625)

On 12/31/2014 at 3:59pm - love - by lunab123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

#21326143
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29377) - you deserved it (14723)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my husband came home with a Christmas gift from a coworker. It's the same thing I got him. FML

#21323028
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31264) - you deserved it (2831)

On 12/24/2014 at 12:56am - misc - by now what - United States (California)

Today, I was complimented on my freckles. I don't actually have freckles, just a load of blackheads that won't go away. FML

#21322767
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27910) - you deserved it (3166)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:41pm - health - by eamiller (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked my grandpa why he spoils me so much. He told me it's because he truly believes no one else will ever want to. FML

#21322081
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (2735)

On 12/22/2014 at 1:40pm - misc - by bxjxj - United States

Today, my classmate said I looked better without makeup. Well, her exact words were, "You look like less of a whore without makeup." FML



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Thursday 22 January 2015

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