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marshmalllows

Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 1:07am) | Search for a member

marshmalllows

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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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marshmalllows's favorite FMLs

Today, it was report card day at swimming lessons. Because it was the last day, a little girl brought me flowers. She was the only kid in that class who didn't pass. FML

#21251459
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39345) - you deserved it (3375)

On 09/03/2014 at 9:31pm - work - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was punched in the face because my uncontrollable hiccups were "annoying". FML

#21250817
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35326) - you deserved it (3800)

On 09/02/2014 at 10:13pm - health - by soccer8goalie - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48872) - you deserved it (2459)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36232) - you deserved it (2686)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46600) - you deserved it (3794)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42841) - you deserved it (4414)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41166) - you deserved it (3211)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

#21248169
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35453) - you deserved it (8658)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

#21247953
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41049) - you deserved it (5574)

On 08/29/2014 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by SCARRED (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, it was my great aunt's funeral. We all had to wait two hours for the service to begin, because they forgot to dig the grave. FML

#21247920
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37506) - you deserved it (2234)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:54pm - misc - by abbshows (man) - United States

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35320) - you deserved it (34001)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36486) - you deserved it (13690)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

#21244207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39127) - you deserved it (5845)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46587) - you deserved it (4303)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was excited to receive a rejection letter, because this was the first company to even acknowledge that I sent them a resume. FML

#21243040
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40044) - you deserved it (2732)

On 08/22/2014 at 9:14am - work - by Beeky (woman) - United States (Montana)



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