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marshmalllows

Offline (the 08/25/2015 at 12:34am) | Search for a member

marshmalllows

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1069
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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marshmalllows's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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marshmalllows's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

#21458894
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27224) - you deserved it (2200)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my niece started crying because she thought that someday she'll look like me. FML

#21458278
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22562) - you deserved it (1729)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:25pm - kids - by ambiiii - United States (Texas)

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24517) - you deserved it (8946)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

#21446247
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (9817)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by stargate25 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML

#21438922
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29373) - you deserved it (9235)

On 07/09/2015 at 7:20am - intimacy - by who_cares - United States (California)

Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML

#21421711
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (5989)

On 06/06/2015 at 10:37am - love - by sad and hungry (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

#21414342
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (3107)

On 05/23/2015 at 7:06am - kids - by DENTALITY (woman) - Norway

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12880) - you deserved it (44022)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

#21406694
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30639) - you deserved it (2795)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised I've been depressed about my recent break up for longer than the relationship even lasted. FML

Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML

#21401085
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37189) - you deserved it (2805)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:26am - misc - by WasNotAdopted (man) - United States (California)

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

#21398963
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (3131)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:07am - intimacy - by someoneneedsassistance - United States (Virginia)

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

#21397356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29302) - you deserved it (3549)

On 04/21/2015 at 9:48am - love - by veiny - United States (Tennessee)



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