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marmots

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  • Number of visits : 2427
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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marmots's page activity

Visits<b>hockeymatt296</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 8:29pm<b>MTB99</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 4:46pm<b>CRaynee</b> - the 08/05/2011 at 2:20am<b>Mickbreeezy18</b> - the 06/16/2011 at 3:56pm

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marmots's favorite FMLs

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

#15128111
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28703) - you deserved it (3110)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21426) - you deserved it (41750)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML

#14963197
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25330) - you deserved it (3080)

On 02/13/2011 at 8:18pm - misc - by alice (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML

#14852501
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15629) - you deserved it (33270)

On 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML

#14820910
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28503) - you deserved it (5785)

On 02/03/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43292) - you deserved it (7935)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43951) - you deserved it (2996) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

#14567301
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25989) - you deserved it (4435)

On 01/13/2011 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Lebanon

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10995) - you deserved it (50694)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to my Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I looked down I noticed that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticed he was viewing my profile. He stalked the profile for a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in my life. FML

#13963928
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35881) - you deserved it (4854)

On 11/24/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I woke up to a man stroking my leg while smelling my hair. I asked my roommate who he was and she said, "Oh, that's just my brother. He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June. Didn't I tell you that?" No, you didn't. FML

#13948319
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30839) - you deserved it (2378)

On 11/23/2010 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML

#13937046
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29117) - you deserved it (2690)

On 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by unexpected_failure (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML

#13773002
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49859) - you deserved it (9444)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

#13559273
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36978) - you deserved it (8555)

On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29575) - you deserved it (4503)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version



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