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Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (4076)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39377) - you deserved it (9032)
On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6699) - you deserved it (35410)
On 05/27/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42464) - you deserved it (2875)
On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - kids - by Adoptee (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (15525)
On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56326) - you deserved it (3356)
On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32082) - you deserved it (9440)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7070) - you deserved it (41815)
On 05/02/2011 at 5:33am - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26780) - you deserved it (5309)
On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (22850)
On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41124) - you deserved it (3496)
On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30171) - you deserved it (24887)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25763) - you deserved it (41021)
On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43353) - you deserved it (5134)
On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -
Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38970) - you deserved it (3311)
On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -
Friday 24 May 2013
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