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marmots

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2957
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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marmots's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:41am<b>hockeymatt296</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 8:29pm<b>MTB99</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 4:46pm<b>CRaynee</b> - the 08/05/2011 at 2:20am<b>Mickbreeezy18</b> - the 06/16/2011 at 3:56pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:10am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:41pm

marmots's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

marmots's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46922) - you deserved it (11990)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML

#16377844
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8373) - you deserved it (47988)

On 05/27/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML

#16301651
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50967) - you deserved it (3953)

On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - kids - by Adoptee (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33085) - you deserved it (20333)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68216) - you deserved it (4693)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38920) - you deserved it (10498)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

#16016488
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9476) - you deserved it (57503)

On 05/02/2011 at 5:33am - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33939) - you deserved it (6997)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42206) - you deserved it (28720)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47262) - you deserved it (4459)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38535) - you deserved it (32120)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (52194)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

#15250352
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46184) - you deserved it (4213)

On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -

Today, my babysitter called to inform me that my grandfather is stalking her. FML

#15237073
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31129) - you deserved it (2662)

On 03/08/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by ToxicSuicide (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

#15128111
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28862) - you deserved it (3127)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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