Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

marmots

Search for a member

marmots
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1955
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

marmots's last visitors

hockeymatt296CRaynee

marmots's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

marmots's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

#17109341
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29565) - you deserved it (5080)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML

#17090156
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31672) - you deserved it (7979)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Ignored - United States (Texas)

Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML

#17071540
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16202) - you deserved it (14542)

On 07/11/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34949) - you deserved it (4836)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

#16945006
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38566) - you deserved it (3563)

On 07/02/2011 at 2:44am - intimacy - by beardedlady - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31303) - you deserved it (4492)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, I had the most exciting dream of my life. I was dreaming about catching a shiny charmander. I'm 15, and instead of dreaming of girls, I'm dreaming of Pokémon. FML

#16909818
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24971) - you deserved it (12609)

On 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by wispywee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend tried to climb up to my third story window in the early hours of the morning. Just before he got to the top, he slipped and fell to the ground. My dad had to drive him to the hospital at 3am. FML

#16886506
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28538) - you deserved it (6561)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

#16882947
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9388) - you deserved it (42590)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:15pm - misc - by ashhatches - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34060) - you deserved it (4374)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44040) - you deserved it (6900)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

#16690191
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32378) - you deserved it (3792)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

#16676929
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40518) - you deserved it (3127)

On 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm - health - by Braxam - United States

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

#16642737
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30955) - you deserved it (4020)

On 06/13/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by Evaki1 - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

#16607799
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32274) - you deserved it (6615)

On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: