marmots

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marmots

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3900
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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marmots's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 8:20am<b>hockeymatt296</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 8:29pm<b>MTB99</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 4:46pm<b>CRaynee</b> - the 08/05/2011 at 2:20am<b>Mickbreeezy18</b> - the 06/16/2011 at 3:56pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:10am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:41pm

marmots's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

marmots's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML

by Ignored / 07/13/2011 at 2:47am / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2011 at 9:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

by beardedlady / 07/02/2011 at 2:44am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I had the most exciting dream of my life. I was dreaming about catching a shiny charmander. I'm 15, and instead of dreaming of girls, I'm dreaming of Pokémon. FML

by wispywee / 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, my boyfriend tried to climb up to my third story window in the early hours of the morning. Just before he got to the top, he slipped and fell to the ground. My dad had to drive him to the hospital at 3am. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 7:45pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

by ashhatches / 06/27/2011 at 3:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

by Sam / 06/24/2011 at 12:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

by fmlguy382 / 06/22/2011 at 4:13am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

by Hank Gummyworm / 06/16/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

by Braxam / 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm / United States / Health

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

by Evaki1 / 06/13/2011 at 10:24am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

by julia / 06/11/2011 at 7:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

by grant b / 06/09/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Work