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marmots

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  • Number of visits : 2345
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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marmots's page activity

Visits<b>hockeymatt296</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 8:29pm<b>MTB99</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 4:46pm<b>CRaynee</b> - the 08/05/2011 at 2:20am<b>Mickbreeezy18</b> - the 06/16/2011 at 3:56pm

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marmots's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37519) - you deserved it (9707)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37519) - you deserved it (9707)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33552) - you deserved it (3650)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26103) - you deserved it (4146)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

#17250401
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32803) - you deserved it (8227)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

#17233165
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41531) - you deserved it (5488) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10379) - you deserved it (94120)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

#17207993
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44305) - you deserved it (4682)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34537) - you deserved it (7577)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39307) - you deserved it (4247)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35361) - you deserved it (5488)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

#17121994
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26285) - you deserved it (4757)

On 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm - health - by beachbumb8538 - United States

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54598) - you deserved it (9316)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14486) - you deserved it (63473)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14486) - you deserved it (63473)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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