Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

marmots

Search for a member

marmots

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2557
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

marmots's page activity

Visits<b>hockeymatt296</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 8:29pm<b>MTB99</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 4:46pm<b>CRaynee</b> - the 08/05/2011 at 2:20am<b>Mickbreeezy18</b> - the 06/16/2011 at 3:56pm

marmots's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

marmots's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

#17627394
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33333) - you deserved it (5243)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37344) - you deserved it (3281)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

#17547922
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33735) - you deserved it (3246)

On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)

Today, I bought a Halloween costume for my cat. FML

#17544670
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8631) - you deserved it (37430)

On 08/22/2011 at 2:04am - animals - by vishuzzbabe77 - United States

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31503) - you deserved it (4769)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41465) - you deserved it (2872)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38414) - you deserved it (2809)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36933) - you deserved it (3464)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39409) - you deserved it (4237)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML

#17400006
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26687) - you deserved it (6058)

On 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Wife - United States

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

#17388195
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23347) - you deserved it (5623)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39263) - you deserved it (7285)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, the crazy cat lady who lives next to me lost one of her cats. She sat outside with a whistle at 6:00 this morning and continued to blow her whistle for hours. FML

#17327008
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25665) - you deserved it (2292)

On 08/01/2011 at 12:41am - animals - by Username - United States

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

#17306841
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18551) - you deserved it (75219)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37635) - you deserved it (9720)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: