Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

marmots

Search for a member

marmots
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1968
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

marmots's last visitors

hockeymatt296CRaynee

marmots's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

marmots's favorite FMLs

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28037) - you deserved it (4352)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

#13413623
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (2567)

On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27357) - you deserved it (8523)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

#12085678
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37225) - you deserved it (18352)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by juli (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

#12080410
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22836) - you deserved it (2938)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by earths_venus - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend moved. I found out when I went over to surprise him with take-out food and he was pulling out of the driveway. He flipped me off as he drove past. FML

#11339057
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33051) - you deserved it (4209)

On 06/20/2010 at 7:37pm - love - by Anony Mous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14668) - you deserved it (4005)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

#7442333
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32227) - you deserved it (6962)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

#7290118
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24885) - you deserved it (3442)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother thought it would be okay to take my camera and erase all of my pictures that included my graduation, party, and my sisters wedding. Her excuse? "We need more room for Katie's birthday." Katie is our pet cat. FML

#6721090
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28470) - you deserved it (3243)

On 12/12/2009 at 10:41am - animals - by Kelsie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML

#6401579
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5957) - you deserved it (27991)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - animals - by jaydiv (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

#5978415
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30568) - you deserved it (12808)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML

#5919547
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35815) - you deserved it (21697)

On 10/20/2009 at 8:44pm - kids - by Raiders4ever (man) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: