Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

marmlr339

Search for a member

marmlr339

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 May 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7783
  • Number of comments : 325
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

About marmlr339 : Hey, I'm Martin. 23 years old. Love to have a good time. Love clubbing and just being with friends. Never let an opportunity pass you by :-) Add me on facebook: /martin339 or twitter: @marmlr339

marmlr339's page activity

Visits<b>cartoonboy</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:32am<b>SirRaulB</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 1:08am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 9:24pm<b>cwl727</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 7:25pm<b>yuubi</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 12:52pm<b>ErzaScarlet</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 9:36pm<b>adamo_erebus</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 8:18am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 11:13pm<b>catunobae</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 4:52pm<b>Hobbes94</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 2:36am<b>lizzy6423</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 10:31pm<b>brittany3496</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 9:28pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 12:34am<b>rawr_ily96</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 4:37pm<b>TRaww21</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 7:44pm<b>koolkid7777</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 6:51pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 11:44am<b>ThaBoss12</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 8:56pm

marmlr339's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of marmlr339's badges

marmlr339's favorite FMLs

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

#14892103
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8053) - you deserved it (27079)

On 02/08/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Shane -

Today, I told my new boss to wish his daughter a happy birthday on my behalf, as I overheard him saying it was today. Turns out she committed suicide three years ago. FML

#14886336
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39757) - you deserved it (7209)

On 02/07/2011 at 7:54pm - misc - by um -

Today, I was on the phone to a guy I really like from work. We'd been talking for about 2 minutes, when he said he was getting another call, and put me on hold. I was so excited to be on the phone with him, it took me a whole 15 minutes to realise he had actually just hung up on me. FML

#14883708
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28765) - you deserved it (6703)

On 02/07/2011 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, scarcely having time to look at myself, I quickly got dressed and went to work. Only when I got there and saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror did I notice that the colour and detail of my black lacy bra could easily be seen. I work for a construction company. Full of men. FML

#14882987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11958) - you deserved it (28403)

On 02/07/2011 at 2:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

#14881953
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10893) - you deserved it (38374)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Lindsay (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was walking to the shops when I saw my friend about 10 metres in front of me, waiting at the traffic lights, by herself. Jokingly, I shouted out "Who's that really ugly person waiting at the lights?" The girl turned around. It wasn't my friend. FML

#14879534
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9659) - you deserved it (39458)

On 02/07/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML

#14873123
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34946) - you deserved it (3107)

On 02/06/2011 at 9:36pm - misc - by LimpMcgee (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave that flashes 'enjoy your meal' when it finishes cooking something. FML

#14872504
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25393) - you deserved it (3302)

On 02/06/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by bymyself -

Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with for the past six months. FML

#14856386
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32526) - you deserved it (6393)

On 02/05/2011 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I woke up with a migrane, so I took one of my prescription migrane pills to get me through my day. The pill made me dizzy and nauseous, so I took a motion-sickness pill. That pill gave me a migrane. FML

#14851350
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27301) - you deserved it (4911)

On 02/05/2011 at 11:13am - health - by Screwed in Seattle - United States (California)

Today, while stocking shelves with canned goods, a kid no older than ten ran down the aisle, knocking down everything in his path. He was followed by his mother who was laughing hysterically. FML

#14840451
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29054) - you deserved it (2386)

On 02/04/2011 at 3:13pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

#14830027
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36535) - you deserved it (6060)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed -

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

#14830027
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36535) - you deserved it (6060)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed -

Today, the midwest blizzard hit my town, burying the roads in snow. All the local stores are closed. I'm not only currently on my period, but I'm out of pads and toilet paper. FML

#14827819
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41858) - you deserved it (9502)

On 02/03/2011 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while waiting for a job interview, a woman sat down next to me and asked if I was here for the job too. Thinking she was also an applicant, I tried to demoralise her, and said the job was going to be a complete joke. With that, she stood up and said, "Do you still want to go into my office?" She was the interviewer. FML

#14826763
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7086) - you deserved it (67197)

On 02/03/2011 at 1:53pm - work - by parker1993 (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: